Thursday, December 26, 2013

Happy Holidays

As 2013 draws to a close, I've self-pubbed four more collaborations, which are perfect quick reads for all of you new Kindle owners, as well as long time Jack Daniels fans.

I get a lot of email, asking for new JD adventures, and being only one man I've found it difficult to meet the demand while also running my business and writing other things. But these collaborations have been a lot of fun to work on, and they should please avid readers until several new Jack Daniels novels are published in 2014.

Cheese Wrestling with Bernard Schaffer $1.99

Cole Clayton is a small town cop used to small town crime. But when a girl goes missing, it leads him from his small town to Chicago, where he teams up with a tough Homicide cop named Jack Daniels.

What is the meaning of cheese wrestling? Hint: You probably don't want to know. And neither does Jack. But sometimes you have to deal with the worst of humanity to bring out the best in humanity.


There are things worse than murder...

Babysitting Money with Ken Lindsey $1.99

Gavin English isn't in Chicago searching for an unfaithful woman's wedding ring out of the goodness of his heart. He's doing it for the fifty thousand dollar check the unfaithful woman gave him. All he has to do is track down the pretty boy who stole it—in one of the biggest cities in the country. 

Lucky for Gavin, ex-police Lieutenant Jack Daniels knows her way around the city—her city—and she's agreed to set aside her mommy duties for a few days, so that she can babysit him and his assistant while they're in town. 

But somewhere between Gavin's visit to the busted-down crackhouse and their stop at a low-rent donut shop, Jack's peaceful babysitting gig turns deadly and the bullets start flying. 

BABYSITTING MONEY brings together Ken Lindsey's heavy drinking, hard-boiled PI (TO THE BONE, ON THE EDGE) and J.A. Konrath's retired hero cop/brand-new mommy (WHISKEY SOUR, SHAKEN) for an intense, laugh-out-loud thriller. 

October Dark with Joshua Simcox $1.99

A young addict forced into a life of contract killing, Macklin Dailey never let go of the girl he left behind at college. Now he's returned to campus on a cold October evening to protect Allie from a vicious psychopath preying on the community. Mackie is convinced this predator has set his sights on old love, and he'll do anything to keep her safe. 

But someone is following Mackie.

Phineas Troutt is a problem solver, hired to punish Macklin for his past sins. But when this pair of hitmen cross paths with a monster far worse than either of them, the streets of a peaceful North Carolina community will be run red with blood and consumed by the OCTOBER DARK.

Abductions with Garth Perry $1.99

Psychic Investigator AJ Rakowski can't talk to the dead, but she can 'dial' into a dead person's vibes.

Why this qualifies her as a consultant for the Chicago Police Department is a mystery to skeptical Homicide Lt. Jack Daniels, who has real cases to solve.

But when Rakowski is brought on to help stop a serial kidnapper from abducting his next victim, Jack is forced to work with AJ. A girl's life is on the line, and maybe if the two learn to accept their differences and join forces, they just might be able to stop the...

Kidnapping can be murder...

If you're new to this project, I've opened up my IP universe and am giving writers a chance to collaborate with me. More can be explained here and here.

Some other recent collabs include:

Straight Up with Iain Rob Wright $1.99

Lieutenant Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels hates to fly. She hates the cramped leg room and the recycled air. She also hates the fact that she can't get a decent drink. The short flight to Florida is a necessary burden to visit her mother, but what escalates it beyond a mere inconvenience is the fact that the pilot is a gun-toting maniac.

Teaming up with an irritable, badly scarred woman from England, Jack sets about trying to protect the plane and its passengers from the homicidal Captain Clive while also making sure that they don't end up taking a deadly nose dive into the Sunshine State.

Air Travel can be murder.

Racked with Jude Hardin $1.99

A private investigator, a police lieutenant, and a man wearing a Bugs Bunny mask walk into a bar...

Unfortunately, it's no joke when Bugsy rigs the barrel of a twelve-gauge pump to the back of the bartender's neck.

Together for the first time in this explosive, lightning-paced tale of greed, betrayal, and blood-soaked terror (not really, but it's a fast-paced and funny mystery-thriller), Florida PI Nicholas Colt (Crosscut, Key Death) and Chicago cop Jacqueline Daniels (Whiskey Sour, Shaken) team up to stop the robber before another shotgun shell gets RACKED.

Jacked Up! with Tracy Sharp $2.99

Leah Ryan used to steal cars for a living. A former repo chick, she'd hung up her lock picks for a new career as a private eye. But when her old boss calls up with an offer to repossess a Rolls Royce, the thrill-seeker in Leah can't refuse.

Things get crazy and dangerous when Leah's trip to Chicago turns out to be more than just a simple boost. As the dead bodies start piling up, she runs afoul with a homicide cop named Lt. Jack Daniels, and her uncouth ex-partner, Harry McGlade.

JACKED UP! teams up Tracy Sharp's unorthodox heroine with J.A. Konrath's stalwart cop, in an action-packed, hilarious mystery-thriller.

This short novel is 20,000 words long (about 75 pages), and is a great introduction to the worlds of Leah Ryan and Jack Daniels, while also being a treat for longtime fans of both series. 

Warning: Contains what may be the funniest sex scene ever written. And a ninja.

Also, my old friend Melinda DuChamp has two new hilarious erotica shorts now available.

You may remember Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland and Fifty Shades of Alice Through the Looking Glass, which have netted over $100k yet took just a week each to write.

Melinda is back with more fun adults-only short novels, one of the fairy tale variety, and one taking place in the future. It's erotica for smart people who like to laugh, just like you.

Fifty Shades of Jezebel and the Beanstalk $2.99

It's not easy being a princess in a fairytale. Especially when everyone you meet is so incredibly horny. 

When unhappy Jezebel is rescued from a terrible blind date by a cute waiter with magic beans, she thinks she must be dreaming. But once she's in a land filled with mythical beings, hot and eager suitors, and more orgasms than she's able to handle, Jezzy learns the true meaning of "happy ending." 

Written by the author of the bestseller Fifty Shades of Alice in Wonderland, Fifty Shades of Jezebel and the Beanstalk features the same hysterical humor, heated sexual encounters, and romantic escapades readers have come to demand from Melinda DuChamp. 

The Sexperts - Fifty Grades of Shay $2.99

In the future, some people are still prudes... 

But Fanny Leuber and Peter Bonebury, instructors at the Siemann Sex Institute, are doing all they can to make sure everyone can enjoy a healthy, prosperous sex life. Even if that means kidnapping clueless men to teach them how to please a woman, giving BDSM lessons, and creating group sex instructional videos. 

But when a gorgeous, naive blond with sexual super powers arrives at the institute, everything Fanny and Peter know will be exposed and turned upside down… including their secret feelings for each other. 

Written by bestselling erotica author Melinda DuChamp, the Sexperts is another hilarious, romantic, and downright naughty adventure for readers who are daring enough. 

Joe sez: I encourage all fans of erotica to buy these two short novels. They're spicy and fun and have a wicked sense of humor--something sorely lacking from most smut.

In fact, the funny bits in these books have led to rampant speculation that I, Joe Konrath, am actually the author, and Melinda DuChamp is the secret pen name I've never revealed.

What do you think? Am I Melinda DuChamp? Is she one of my pseudonyms? Can men even write decent erotica?

Or is DuChamp perhaps a joint pen name of me and some mysterious collaborator?

Or is Melinda just a good buddy that I want to see succeed, so I'm throwing this out there to stir up gossip and sales?

You can vote here.

Is Bestselling Erotica Author Melinda DuChamp really Joe Konrath?


When it reaches 10,000 votes, I'll reveal the truth behind Melinda. Please help spread the word.

And in the meantime, support this blog by buying the ebooks on this page, and watch this space for my 2014 publishing predictions, coming soon.


Ken Lindsey said...

I'm already very excited by the reception Babysitting Money has received, and can't wait to publish the follow-up with Joe.

These are all quick, fun reads, and I hope everyone enjoys them as much as I have already enjoyed the ones I've read.

And, on another note, I'll admit I have thought that you were Melinda DuChamp for quite some time. I'm interested to see if I was right!

Anonymous said...

I think Melinda DuChamp is Joe.

Among other things, he would have the ability to convince Carl Graves to create the covers at a time when he wasn't taking on new clients. ;)

Everyone, get to voting! Only 87 people had so far when I voted.

Best wishes to Joe, all the collaborators, and guest posters for 2014!

hollis shiloh said...

Haha, no I don't think you're the same person. But what do I know?

Also I find this hilarious: "Can men even write decent erotica?"

What a loaded and silly question. What is "decent erotica" (who decides?) and why wouldn't they be able to? :)

Charles R. Rutledge said...

Been waiting on these collaborations. Bought 'em all. Merry Christmas to me.

Anonymous said...

Joe's not Melinda. I've done some sleuthing on Amazon and I'm 99% sure I know Joe's secret pen name. It really wasn't that hard to figure out, because he gave us enough clues in this blog to get there. And no, I'm not telling either!

But I'm dying to know who Melinda is.

Anonymous said...

Hugh Howey

Paul Draker said...

Melinda DuChamp is Scott Turow.

Unknown said...

Scott Turow...Really? What a hoot. Must be those special Sat nite refreshments you imbibed!

Read most of collabs already. Good stuff. Will add new ones to my TBR list.

Thanks again, Joe, for opening these avenues of new JD adventures.

JA Konrath said...

Those are great covers, aren't they? ;)

nlo said...

Nice. I like what I see and what you're doing. Happy Holidays Joe.

Ian Graham said...

Hahaha. Never thought about Joe actually being Melinda...interesting possibility. I thought for a long time that Joe might be counterterrorism author Jack Silkstone, but I think now that I was wrong. Who knows, though.

Unknown said...

@ Bernard Schaffer

Great job with Jack Daniels and Joe's characters mixing it up with yours in Cheese Wrestling. Great read, entertaining and laughter abounds. Yuck. I'll never eat Cheez-Whiz again!
Wanna read more.

Bernard Schaffer said...

Hi Jeff, thanks for the shout out. I had a great time writing Cheese Wrestling and working with Joe. If you liked that one, though, Snake Wine is going to blow you away.

McVickers said...

I guess we'll never know because the poll only has 300 votes so far. :)

hạt điều rang muối said...

Happy new year!

Unknown said...

I'm trying to find out more about Mariposa Publishing LLC. My friend recently told me about them and I'm interested in hear what others have to say about them. Does anyone have any information?

William J. Thomas said...

Sigh, only 400+ votes now. Should be so much higher with all the hits this blog gets. Joe, you better lower the threshold for telling down to 1000!

Hey Jude, you must rate pretty high to be the only collaborator in this post with his name above Joe's on the book cover...! How many cases of beer did you have to buy him anyway?

Anonymous said...

Still less than 500. It's possible that many of Joe's readers don't read to the bottom of all posts. I find myself skimming guest posts and posts like the above, a list of books I have no interest in reading.

Anonymous said...

Honestly I think it's less than 500 votes because many others, like me, has been afk for weeks due to the holidays. It's only my determination to read all the posts since I was last here in December that led me to the bottom of this post... lol.

So, sadly, we'll never know if Joe is really Melinda. :)

Anonymous said...

Can we get an update as to how well the collaborations are selling? Just curious if there are some numbers out there.