10. With books, it's socially acceptable to read both men and women.
9. A book never has to ask "Was it good for you?" --- and then lie and say it was.
8. You don't have to shower after reading a book, except maybe Ann Coulter.
7. The pope says you can have books before marriage.
6. You don't have to get a book drunk first.
5. Books last longer than three minutes.
4. If you don't like what you see between the covers, you can toss it aside and find another book right away.
3. With books, length isn't important.
2. A book can make you sick, but not the kind of sick that requires a trip to the clinic.
1. You can have a new book every night, and they don't get jealous.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Everyone's A Critic
As newspapers and periodicals fold, downsize, and decline in popularity, it's getting harder and harder to get books reviewed.
Reviews sell books. Not necessarily because a book critic recommends it, but because a review makes readers aware a book exists. If a reader is looking for the next book by a certain author, or is looking for a certain genre or type of book to buy, reviews serve as a reminder or a spotlight, sort of like advertising, but with relevant content.
But as the Internet continues to infringe upon print, more and more people are reading reviews online. And the majority of these reviews aren't from paid critics, but from laypeople with blogs, or who post on websites like Shelfari or Goodreads or Amazon.com.
While I mourn the gradual demise of professional print reviews, I embrace this new form of critiquing books. And I'm not the only one. I've lost count of the number of Harriet Klausner reviews (Amazon's #1 reviewer) I've seen on books, some even on the back covers.
Rather than read the NYT Book Review section, more and more readers are deciding what to buy based on blogs they read, or the average star ratings on Amazon. This grass roots type of reviewing is less like advertising, and more like word of mouth, which readers of this blog know I prefer.
But it comes at a cost. Because the world wide web makes it possible for everyone to post their opinion, many people do just that. And because the Internet offers distance and a certain amount of anonymity, many people see no problem with viciously ripping apart books they don't like.
On one hand, everyone has an opinion, and all opinions are valid.
On the other hand, you'd think reading some online reviews that the author being described is an illiterate pinhead, barely capable of stringing words together, who hates his fans and should have never been published in the first place and should be monetarily liable for the time the reviewer wasted reading the first two chapters.
I'm all for personal expression. And the Internet is truly a bottom-up (as opposed to top-down) way to communicate. We no longer have to rely on professionals, or corporations, for our news or entertainment. We've become a world where everyone can be famous, where all opinions can be heard.
This mentality has lead to uploading videos on YouTube, sharing pictures on Flicker, being able to create and edit our own encyclopedia with Wikipedia, posting news and op-ed on blogs, publishing ourselves on our websites, creating our own flash movies and games, and basically becoming the creator rather than being content with staying the consumer.
Unfortunately, for everyone who desires to create, there is someone who seems compelled to destroy.
The number of 1 star reviews on Amazon.com, and on the movie site IMDB.com, frankly astound me. Apparently it's easier to hate something, and there's a lot more to hate, than I ever imagined.
The reality is, most movies and books don't suck. There are some bad ones, sure. But each had to meet some minimal standards in order to get produced. Books released by major houses are acquired because the house believes they have some value, and will make some money. Many people are involved in a book's creation.
Yet the cavalier, dismissive attitude of many online amateur critics is a symptom of a larger problem within society, compounded by the fact that there's no accountability.
The problem I'm speaking of can be summed up in a single word: haters.
Haters tend to be quick with opinions, actively judge without fully understanding what they're judging, and have little concept of the effort it takes to create a story, film, book, TV show, or any other form of media.
Rather than create anything on their own, which is probably too difficult for them to do, they enjoy the sound of their own whining while tearing down what others have created. Because the Internet doesn't require accountability, they write things they'd never say face-to-face, which makes them cowards as well.
Personally, haters amuse me. In most cases, it's obvious these folks are clueless. Authors should NEVER EVER respond to haters, because it legitimizes them. No good can come from responding, and the fleeting satisfaction you'd get from calling someone "a waste of carbon" even if they truly are a waste of carbon, is a loss, not a victory.
But I urge anyone who has ever publicly lambasted a book, movie, TV show, song, whatever to consider these criteria before rushing to your one-star review.
WHAT HATERS NEED TO KNOW
1. Opinions change, including yours. Have you ever seen a movie, hated it, then caught it again and realized it was pretty good? A myriad of things can affect whether or not you enjoy something that has nothing whatsoever to do with anything intrinsic in the work.
2. Art is labored over. It involves time, effort, and often love, usually from many people involved in its creation.
3. Make an effort to understand art before you begin to cut down art.
4. You're a big stupid unhappy idiot, and no one likes you, and not a single person gives a shit about your snide comments or unhelpful opinions, and if you could pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that fact you would do the world a favor and eat a bowl of Ambien and then go for a swim. Also, you smell bad.
Don't be a hater. If you dislike something, go ahead and voice your opinion, but be thoughtful in that opinion, and respect the artist. No one likes a whiner. Don't be one.
Now I challenge anyone who has ever given a negative review to defend that review or remove it. Or are you too cowardly to do so?
Reviews sell books. Not necessarily because a book critic recommends it, but because a review makes readers aware a book exists. If a reader is looking for the next book by a certain author, or is looking for a certain genre or type of book to buy, reviews serve as a reminder or a spotlight, sort of like advertising, but with relevant content.
But as the Internet continues to infringe upon print, more and more people are reading reviews online. And the majority of these reviews aren't from paid critics, but from laypeople with blogs, or who post on websites like Shelfari or Goodreads or Amazon.com.
While I mourn the gradual demise of professional print reviews, I embrace this new form of critiquing books. And I'm not the only one. I've lost count of the number of Harriet Klausner reviews (Amazon's #1 reviewer) I've seen on books, some even on the back covers.
Rather than read the NYT Book Review section, more and more readers are deciding what to buy based on blogs they read, or the average star ratings on Amazon. This grass roots type of reviewing is less like advertising, and more like word of mouth, which readers of this blog know I prefer.
But it comes at a cost. Because the world wide web makes it possible for everyone to post their opinion, many people do just that. And because the Internet offers distance and a certain amount of anonymity, many people see no problem with viciously ripping apart books they don't like.
On one hand, everyone has an opinion, and all opinions are valid.
On the other hand, you'd think reading some online reviews that the author being described is an illiterate pinhead, barely capable of stringing words together, who hates his fans and should have never been published in the first place and should be monetarily liable for the time the reviewer wasted reading the first two chapters.
I'm all for personal expression. And the Internet is truly a bottom-up (as opposed to top-down) way to communicate. We no longer have to rely on professionals, or corporations, for our news or entertainment. We've become a world where everyone can be famous, where all opinions can be heard.
This mentality has lead to uploading videos on YouTube, sharing pictures on Flicker, being able to create and edit our own encyclopedia with Wikipedia, posting news and op-ed on blogs, publishing ourselves on our websites, creating our own flash movies and games, and basically becoming the creator rather than being content with staying the consumer.
Unfortunately, for everyone who desires to create, there is someone who seems compelled to destroy.
The number of 1 star reviews on Amazon.com, and on the movie site IMDB.com, frankly astound me. Apparently it's easier to hate something, and there's a lot more to hate, than I ever imagined.
The reality is, most movies and books don't suck. There are some bad ones, sure. But each had to meet some minimal standards in order to get produced. Books released by major houses are acquired because the house believes they have some value, and will make some money. Many people are involved in a book's creation.
Yet the cavalier, dismissive attitude of many online amateur critics is a symptom of a larger problem within society, compounded by the fact that there's no accountability.
The problem I'm speaking of can be summed up in a single word: haters.
Haters tend to be quick with opinions, actively judge without fully understanding what they're judging, and have little concept of the effort it takes to create a story, film, book, TV show, or any other form of media.
Rather than create anything on their own, which is probably too difficult for them to do, they enjoy the sound of their own whining while tearing down what others have created. Because the Internet doesn't require accountability, they write things they'd never say face-to-face, which makes them cowards as well.
Personally, haters amuse me. In most cases, it's obvious these folks are clueless. Authors should NEVER EVER respond to haters, because it legitimizes them. No good can come from responding, and the fleeting satisfaction you'd get from calling someone "a waste of carbon" even if they truly are a waste of carbon, is a loss, not a victory.
But I urge anyone who has ever publicly lambasted a book, movie, TV show, song, whatever to consider these criteria before rushing to your one-star review.
WHAT HATERS NEED TO KNOW
1. Opinions change, including yours. Have you ever seen a movie, hated it, then caught it again and realized it was pretty good? A myriad of things can affect whether or not you enjoy something that has nothing whatsoever to do with anything intrinsic in the work.
2. Art is labored over. It involves time, effort, and often love, usually from many people involved in its creation.
3. Make an effort to understand art before you begin to cut down art.
4. You're a big stupid unhappy idiot, and no one likes you, and not a single person gives a shit about your snide comments or unhelpful opinions, and if you could pull your head out of your ass long enough to realize that fact you would do the world a favor and eat a bowl of Ambien and then go for a swim. Also, you smell bad.
Don't be a hater. If you dislike something, go ahead and voice your opinion, but be thoughtful in that opinion, and respect the artist. No one likes a whiner. Don't be one.
Now I challenge anyone who has ever given a negative review to defend that review or remove it. Or are you too cowardly to do so?
Friday, October 31, 2008
Back Up!
First things first, the winners of the AFRAID free book contest were posted on my forum, in the AFRAID CONTEST heading, http://www.jakonrath.com/phpBB3.
Now, in the spirit of Halloween, I want to talk about the scariest thing that can happen to writers:
Losing our writing.
Data corruption, hard drive failure, viruses, operating systems failing to boot, power outages, and computer crashes can all cause our words to disappear forever.
My computer recently crashed, big time. It has crashed before (thank you Bill Gates) but I've always managed to recover data. But this was the mother of all crashes, my hard drive became corrupted, and I lost everything.
Luckily, because I was expecting this to happen eventually, I backed all of my writing up, so I didn't lose anything other than a few emails.
So here are my tips for all writers, for both before and after a crash, so they may never lose data to system instability.
BEFORE THE CRASH
You will lose data one day. It is inevitable. But if you plan for the eventuality, your data loss will be minor. Here's what all writers need to do.
1. Buy a UPS Back Up. There are many makes and models (I use an APC), but they start at only $40 and all writers should have one for their desktop. These are basically glorified power strips, that not only protect against power surges that could fry your computer, but also have a battery in them so they guard against power outages. Even if your electricity goes out while you're working on something, you'll still have time to save data.
2. www.Mozy.com. This is a free program that saves 2GB of your data off site. You set it to automatically save at a predetermined time of day, and even if your house burns down, you can get your data back.
3. MS Word. The latest version of this, and pretty much all word processing software, has Autosave and Autorecover functions. This means that your work is saved automatically while you're writing it, in a separate spot from where it is normally saved. These shadow copiues can often be recovered even when your original copies are lost.
4. External HDD. Back up to an external hard drive, in case your primary drive fails. If you don't have one, look into partitioning your hard drive. Your operating system is probably installed on your C: drive. If C: becomes corrupted, your data on it--even back up data--could be lost. But if you create a, E: or F: partition, and back up to that, your data should be safe even if C: becomes unstable. But having an entirely separate drive is a better way to go.
5. Hard Copies. Keep printed copies of all your work. Printing work in progress also helps witht he editing process, as going at a hard copy with a red pen is still the preferable way for editors to work.
6. Pen Drives, CDs, and Email. Have a pen drive on your keychain, and to back up your writing there in case someone breaks into your house and steals your computer and extrenal hard drive. Burn CDs and DVDs of all your important files. Email your strories to yourself, or to a family member,
7. Backup Now. Vista, for all its flaws, does have an easy, automatic way to back up files. The Backup Now feature enables users to automatically save any of their date once every 24 hours. At Drive>Properties>Tools you'll find this feature. Back up to a different partition, or even better, and external HDD.
8. www.Avast.com. Why pay for Norton Antivirus when Avast is less buggy, offers just as much protection, and is free? And while you're protecting your computer from trojans, viri, and worms, also protect against spyware and adware by going to www.pcworld.com and downloading the free programs Spybot and AdAware.
AFTER THE CRASH
If you followed any of the above suggestions, recovering your writing should be a snap. But if you were lackadaisical in your safety protocol, there are still ways to hopefully recover your lost words.
1. Read Iris. I love this OCR program. If you have a copy of your writing printed out, you can use this and a scanner, and it translates the typed words into a text file. No more retyping.
2. System Restore. If you can't boot your computer, you might be able to get things started again using this function. Tap F8 repeatedly when you start your computer, and rather than booting it will give you the option of starting in Safe Mode, or doing a System Restore to an earlier time (or loading Last Known Good Configuration.) Windows does this automatically, so before you run to the Geek Squad, try this out.
3. Startup Repair. If Vista doesn't start, it tries to fix itself by loading Startup Repair. If this won't load, there are repair disks available for free online (of if you have a hard copy of Vista you can use the install disk.) If this can't repair your computer, it will allow you to run the command prompt, and you can run a check disk which will try to fix itself. First type in C: (or whatever drive is buggy), then "chkdsk /r" without the quotes.
4. Active Boot Disk. This is free. You burn it onto a CD, and it functions as an operating system from your CD drive. This means you can try to repair your HDD, or even remove files from it, even if you can't launch Windows.
5. Spybot and AdAware. If your system caught something bad, you can clean it using these free aforementioned programs.
If you've never listened to another thing I've ever said, trust me on this: when it comes to losing your writing, and ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Use as many of these as you can. And if you have any ways I missed, put them in the comments to share with others.
Now, in the spirit of Halloween, I want to talk about the scariest thing that can happen to writers:
Losing our writing.
Data corruption, hard drive failure, viruses, operating systems failing to boot, power outages, and computer crashes can all cause our words to disappear forever.
My computer recently crashed, big time. It has crashed before (thank you Bill Gates) but I've always managed to recover data. But this was the mother of all crashes, my hard drive became corrupted, and I lost everything.
Luckily, because I was expecting this to happen eventually, I backed all of my writing up, so I didn't lose anything other than a few emails.
So here are my tips for all writers, for both before and after a crash, so they may never lose data to system instability.
BEFORE THE CRASH
You will lose data one day. It is inevitable. But if you plan for the eventuality, your data loss will be minor. Here's what all writers need to do.
1. Buy a UPS Back Up. There are many makes and models (I use an APC), but they start at only $40 and all writers should have one for their desktop. These are basically glorified power strips, that not only protect against power surges that could fry your computer, but also have a battery in them so they guard against power outages. Even if your electricity goes out while you're working on something, you'll still have time to save data.
2. www.Mozy.com. This is a free program that saves 2GB of your data off site. You set it to automatically save at a predetermined time of day, and even if your house burns down, you can get your data back.
3. MS Word. The latest version of this, and pretty much all word processing software, has Autosave and Autorecover functions. This means that your work is saved automatically while you're writing it, in a separate spot from where it is normally saved. These shadow copiues can often be recovered even when your original copies are lost.
4. External HDD. Back up to an external hard drive, in case your primary drive fails. If you don't have one, look into partitioning your hard drive. Your operating system is probably installed on your C: drive. If C: becomes corrupted, your data on it--even back up data--could be lost. But if you create a, E: or F: partition, and back up to that, your data should be safe even if C: becomes unstable. But having an entirely separate drive is a better way to go.
5. Hard Copies. Keep printed copies of all your work. Printing work in progress also helps witht he editing process, as going at a hard copy with a red pen is still the preferable way for editors to work.
6. Pen Drives, CDs, and Email. Have a pen drive on your keychain, and to back up your writing there in case someone breaks into your house and steals your computer and extrenal hard drive. Burn CDs and DVDs of all your important files. Email your strories to yourself, or to a family member,
7. Backup Now. Vista, for all its flaws, does have an easy, automatic way to back up files. The Backup Now feature enables users to automatically save any of their date once every 24 hours. At Drive>Properties>Tools you'll find this feature. Back up to a different partition, or even better, and external HDD.
8. www.Avast.com. Why pay for Norton Antivirus when Avast is less buggy, offers just as much protection, and is free? And while you're protecting your computer from trojans, viri, and worms, also protect against spyware and adware by going to www.pcworld.com and downloading the free programs Spybot and AdAware.
AFTER THE CRASH
If you followed any of the above suggestions, recovering your writing should be a snap. But if you were lackadaisical in your safety protocol, there are still ways to hopefully recover your lost words.
1. Read Iris. I love this OCR program. If you have a copy of your writing printed out, you can use this and a scanner, and it translates the typed words into a text file. No more retyping.
2. System Restore. If you can't boot your computer, you might be able to get things started again using this function. Tap F8 repeatedly when you start your computer, and rather than booting it will give you the option of starting in Safe Mode, or doing a System Restore to an earlier time (or loading Last Known Good Configuration.) Windows does this automatically, so before you run to the Geek Squad, try this out.
3. Startup Repair. If Vista doesn't start, it tries to fix itself by loading Startup Repair. If this won't load, there are repair disks available for free online (of if you have a hard copy of Vista you can use the install disk.) If this can't repair your computer, it will allow you to run the command prompt, and you can run a check disk which will try to fix itself. First type in C: (or whatever drive is buggy), then "chkdsk /r" without the quotes.
4. Active Boot Disk. This is free. You burn it onto a CD, and it functions as an operating system from your CD drive. This means you can try to repair your HDD, or even remove files from it, even if you can't launch Windows.
5. Spybot and AdAware. If your system caught something bad, you can clean it using these free aforementioned programs.
If you've never listened to another thing I've ever said, trust me on this: when it comes to losing your writing, and ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Use as many of these as you can. And if you have any ways I missed, put them in the comments to share with others.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Contest and Stuff
A few announcements to make on behalf of me and some good friends, and then a chance to win cool free stuff.
STUFF TO BUY:
WOLFSBANE & MISTLETOE, edited by Charlaine Harris and Toni LP Kelner. This werewolf/Christmas anthology is available at bookstores everywhere, and has a novella by me, which I promise is a lot of fun. Plus, it's a NYT Bestseller. :)
BLOOD LITE, edited by Kevin J. Anderson. This humorous horror anthology has a funny/gory story I co-wrote with F. Paul Wilson. Go get it.
THE SPY WHO CAME FOR CHRISTMAS, by David Morrell. I was lucky enough to get an advance reading copy, and this book is terrific.
THE NEW WRITER'S HANDBOOK VOLUME 2, edited by Philip Martin. This is a good collection of essays about writing and publishing, including one by me. If you're a newbie or a pro, it's worth buying.
AFRAID, by Jack Kilborn. For the three of you in the world who don't already know, I'M JACK KILBORN. If you live in Europe or Australia, you'll be able to buy this in hardcover or trade paperback on November 13. If you live in the US and are a diehard collector and demand a hardcover edition, visit Amazon.co.uk. The rest of you must wait until April, when the US paperback edition is released.
PLACES TO GO:
My friend MJ Rose is teaching her Buzz Your Book class one time only next year. If you sign up and tell her I sent you, she'll donate $25 to Locks Of Love, which is the reason I'm growing my hair long.
My friend Henry Perez, whose first novel Killing Red is coming out in '09, finally joined the 21st century and got himself a website. It's at www.henryperezbooks.com. He also has a thoughtful blog. Be a good web friend and trade links with him. Henry's a good guy, and also a good person to know. Plus he promised to buy me a beer for every person I send over.
MURDER AND MAYHEM IN MUSKEGO. I'll be there in Wisconsin, along with a bunch of other authors, November 7 and 8. It's a lot of fun, and afterward we all drink. You should go. Trust me.
CONTEST:
Jack Kilborn's UK publisher, Headline, kindly sent me a few hardcovers and trade paperbacks of AFRAID, just in time for Halloween. In turn, I want to share these with you, my loyal fans.
There will be two contests.
HARDCOVER
To win an AFRAID hardcover (two of them are available) go to my forum at
http://www.jakonrath.com/phpBB3, sign up if you haven't already, and post something in the AFRAID CONTEST thread. The instructions are there.
TRADE PAPERBACK
To win an AFRAID trade paperback (three available), post a comment in this blog stating what makes you afraid. It could be one word (such as "spiders") or it could be more detailed.
You can enter both contests as often as you like. Winners in both categories will be judged on creativity. In the case of a tie, my wife will pick the winners. If I get a lot of entries, I reserve the right to give away more than five books.
On your end, if you do win a copy, you have to promise to review it online absolutely everywhere.
Fair enough? Happy Halloween!
STUFF TO BUY:
WOLFSBANE & MISTLETOE, edited by Charlaine Harris and Toni LP Kelner. This werewolf/Christmas anthology is available at bookstores everywhere, and has a novella by me, which I promise is a lot of fun. Plus, it's a NYT Bestseller. :)
BLOOD LITE, edited by Kevin J. Anderson. This humorous horror anthology has a funny/gory story I co-wrote with F. Paul Wilson. Go get it.
THE SPY WHO CAME FOR CHRISTMAS, by David Morrell. I was lucky enough to get an advance reading copy, and this book is terrific.
THE NEW WRITER'S HANDBOOK VOLUME 2, edited by Philip Martin. This is a good collection of essays about writing and publishing, including one by me. If you're a newbie or a pro, it's worth buying.
AFRAID, by Jack Kilborn. For the three of you in the world who don't already know, I'M JACK KILBORN. If you live in Europe or Australia, you'll be able to buy this in hardcover or trade paperback on November 13. If you live in the US and are a diehard collector and demand a hardcover edition, visit Amazon.co.uk. The rest of you must wait until April, when the US paperback edition is released.
PLACES TO GO:
My friend MJ Rose is teaching her Buzz Your Book class one time only next year. If you sign up and tell her I sent you, she'll donate $25 to Locks Of Love, which is the reason I'm growing my hair long.
My friend Henry Perez, whose first novel Killing Red is coming out in '09, finally joined the 21st century and got himself a website. It's at www.henryperezbooks.com. He also has a thoughtful blog. Be a good web friend and trade links with him. Henry's a good guy, and also a good person to know. Plus he promised to buy me a beer for every person I send over.
MURDER AND MAYHEM IN MUSKEGO. I'll be there in Wisconsin, along with a bunch of other authors, November 7 and 8. It's a lot of fun, and afterward we all drink. You should go. Trust me.
CONTEST:
Jack Kilborn's UK publisher, Headline, kindly sent me a few hardcovers and trade paperbacks of AFRAID, just in time for Halloween. In turn, I want to share these with you, my loyal fans.
There will be two contests.
HARDCOVER
To win an AFRAID hardcover (two of them are available) go to my forum at
http://www.jakonrath.com/phpBB3, sign up if you haven't already, and post something in the AFRAID CONTEST thread. The instructions are there.
TRADE PAPERBACK
To win an AFRAID trade paperback (three available), post a comment in this blog stating what makes you afraid. It could be one word (such as "spiders") or it could be more detailed.
You can enter both contests as often as you like. Winners in both categories will be judged on creativity. In the case of a tie, my wife will pick the winners. If I get a lot of entries, I reserve the right to give away more than five books.
On your end, if you do win a copy, you have to promise to review it online absolutely everywhere.
Fair enough? Happy Halloween!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Needy
We writers are a needy bunch.
Perhaps because the only way we can measure success is by the approval of others.
The act of writing is often fulfilling, but by its very nature self-indulgent. And after spending time in our own heads, we need others to validate our efforts because we can't objectively judge them ourselves.
Success in this business requires acceptance from agents, editors, and readers. From the first two, we seek this acceptance by submitting, rewriting, and editing manuscripts, and all too often we get rejection letters for our efforts.
As for readers, we naturally want to reach as many as possible, and get as many of those to like us as possible. But because reading, like writing, takes place in a person's head, there often isn't any indication of how much acceptance we're actually receiving.
So we seek it out. We Google our own names, and check our Amazon rank and reviews, and track our website hits, and count our blog comments, and obsess over royalty statements, and accumulate MySpace friends, and hope that all of this will somehow make us less neurotic and more confident.
But it doesn't make us more confident. It makes us ashamed. We wonder why more people don't like us, at the same time despising why we consistently seek out their acceptance, and hating ourselves for doing so in the first place.
This blog is not going to show you how to be less needy. If you're a writer, that's impossible.
But it is going to tell you something all writers need to know.
It's okay to be needy.
So you can stop feeling bad that you crave approval. You can stop thinking you obsess too much over your career. You can stop worrying that you're some lone freak, feeling small and weak while everyone around you overflows with confidence.
Everyone picks their nose. Everyone masturbates. And all writers are needy.
Neediness is wired into the artistic temperament. Not only does it make us strive to succeed and improve, but once you truly stop caring about what other people think you become both insufferable and a lazy writer.
So go ahead. Embrace being needy. Seek out the approval of others, and when you find it, enjoy it.
And when instead of approval you find scorn, envy, bitterness, and hateful attacks, remember that they're only opinions---opinions that come from whiny, unhappy, nose-picking morons who masturbate waaaaaay too much.
Now I encourage you to leave a comment here, and then forgive yourself when you check back 17 times today to see if anyone responded to you.
Perhaps because the only way we can measure success is by the approval of others.
The act of writing is often fulfilling, but by its very nature self-indulgent. And after spending time in our own heads, we need others to validate our efforts because we can't objectively judge them ourselves.
Success in this business requires acceptance from agents, editors, and readers. From the first two, we seek this acceptance by submitting, rewriting, and editing manuscripts, and all too often we get rejection letters for our efforts.
As for readers, we naturally want to reach as many as possible, and get as many of those to like us as possible. But because reading, like writing, takes place in a person's head, there often isn't any indication of how much acceptance we're actually receiving.
So we seek it out. We Google our own names, and check our Amazon rank and reviews, and track our website hits, and count our blog comments, and obsess over royalty statements, and accumulate MySpace friends, and hope that all of this will somehow make us less neurotic and more confident.
But it doesn't make us more confident. It makes us ashamed. We wonder why more people don't like us, at the same time despising why we consistently seek out their acceptance, and hating ourselves for doing so in the first place.
This blog is not going to show you how to be less needy. If you're a writer, that's impossible.
But it is going to tell you something all writers need to know.
It's okay to be needy.
So you can stop feeling bad that you crave approval. You can stop thinking you obsess too much over your career. You can stop worrying that you're some lone freak, feeling small and weak while everyone around you overflows with confidence.
Everyone picks their nose. Everyone masturbates. And all writers are needy.
Neediness is wired into the artistic temperament. Not only does it make us strive to succeed and improve, but once you truly stop caring about what other people think you become both insufferable and a lazy writer.
So go ahead. Embrace being needy. Seek out the approval of others, and when you find it, enjoy it.
And when instead of approval you find scorn, envy, bitterness, and hateful attacks, remember that they're only opinions---opinions that come from whiny, unhappy, nose-picking morons who masturbate waaaaaay too much.
Now I encourage you to leave a comment here, and then forgive yourself when you check back 17 times today to see if anyone responded to you.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Conference Culture
I'm off to Bouchercon this weekend, and figured it would be a good time to talk about conferences.
The fact is, not many books are sold at these things. I can play the schmooze game as well as anyone, and over two thousand fans will be at Bouchercon, many of them who know and like me, but if I sell more than fifty books over the weekend I'll be surprised.
So why go? When this trip is over, my expenses will be well over a grand. Is it really worth my time and money?
In a word, yes.
Even though many writers attend Bouchercon (and the many other annual writing fairs and conventions) to sell books, that isn't the main goal. It's nice when it happens, but these appearances are more about goodwill than sales.
When we writers go anywhere, we become ambassadors for our writing. Projecting an image of success and confidence, while being gracious, funny, and accessible, does more than get a few people to part with their money. It helps establish a brand.
Word of mouth is the ultimate selling tool, and anytime you have a chance to speak in public, you're able to spread your message to others, who in turn (if they like you) will spread it to others. Being talked about favorably, even by those who haven't read your books and have no intention of reading your books, will lead others to read your books.
Ultimately, bookselling is a popularity contest. And befriending as many people as possible is in every writer's best interest. To do this, we must go where the people are.
There are other benefits of attending conventions as well. Networking with peers is a nice way to blow off steam and have fun, but it also results in meeting people who can potentially help your career. Conferences are great for establishing and solidifying work friendships. Then down the road, when someone is looking for stories for their antho, or you're looking for a blurb or an intro to an editor, the time you spent at the bar buying rounds of drinks will more than pay for itself.
The things to keep in mind, to help maximize your time at the convention, can be reduced to a simple list.
1. Stay in public. Hiding in your room between panels is not why you came here. Go where the people are.
2. Be friendly. A smile goes far, and kind words go even farther.
3. Meet people. Try to introduce yourself to as many people as possible. Sit with strangers, chat in elevators, ask fans questions, approach authors you like and buy them beer. The only time you should be alone is in the bathroom.
4. Promote yourself. All writers should have a 20 second pitch, that they can launch into when asked. Wait to be asked. Have business cards or something similar to hand out to people.
If you can keep those four things in mind, you'll have a productive conference. You'll also have some fun.
The fact is, not many books are sold at these things. I can play the schmooze game as well as anyone, and over two thousand fans will be at Bouchercon, many of them who know and like me, but if I sell more than fifty books over the weekend I'll be surprised.
So why go? When this trip is over, my expenses will be well over a grand. Is it really worth my time and money?
In a word, yes.
Even though many writers attend Bouchercon (and the many other annual writing fairs and conventions) to sell books, that isn't the main goal. It's nice when it happens, but these appearances are more about goodwill than sales.
When we writers go anywhere, we become ambassadors for our writing. Projecting an image of success and confidence, while being gracious, funny, and accessible, does more than get a few people to part with their money. It helps establish a brand.
Word of mouth is the ultimate selling tool, and anytime you have a chance to speak in public, you're able to spread your message to others, who in turn (if they like you) will spread it to others. Being talked about favorably, even by those who haven't read your books and have no intention of reading your books, will lead others to read your books.
Ultimately, bookselling is a popularity contest. And befriending as many people as possible is in every writer's best interest. To do this, we must go where the people are.
There are other benefits of attending conventions as well. Networking with peers is a nice way to blow off steam and have fun, but it also results in meeting people who can potentially help your career. Conferences are great for establishing and solidifying work friendships. Then down the road, when someone is looking for stories for their antho, or you're looking for a blurb or an intro to an editor, the time you spent at the bar buying rounds of drinks will more than pay for itself.
The things to keep in mind, to help maximize your time at the convention, can be reduced to a simple list.
1. Stay in public. Hiding in your room between panels is not why you came here. Go where the people are.
2. Be friendly. A smile goes far, and kind words go even farther.
3. Meet people. Try to introduce yourself to as many people as possible. Sit with strangers, chat in elevators, ask fans questions, approach authors you like and buy them beer. The only time you should be alone is in the bathroom.
4. Promote yourself. All writers should have a 20 second pitch, that they can launch into when asked. Wait to be asked. Have business cards or something similar to hand out to people.
If you can keep those four things in mind, you'll have a productive conference. You'll also have some fun.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Investment
Writing anything requires a certain amount of investment from a writer. Time, naturally. But a story also contains little bits of who were are. Writing a book is a substantial commitment, professionally, and often emotionally.
When the story is complete, the investment remains. We want it to be read. To succeed. To endure.
But sometimes our best efforts don't sell. Sometimes it's the writing. Sometimes it's the market. Sometimes it's some weird combination of circumstances that lead to rejection. (In fairness, weird combinations of circumstances often lead to acceptance as well.)
Which brings us to the point of this blog entry: When do we give up on something we've written?
That's a tough question. Is it time to abandon a piece after ten rejections? Or a hundred rejections? Six months? Three years? Does the time we spent writing it play a part in this decision? Does how much we personally like the story factor in?
The point is, we eventually need to give up. We need to stop dwelling on what didn't sell, and focus on something new that might sell.
Almost every writer I know has a shelf novel. Almost all of them have short stories that never say print. In some cases the writers admit this is a good thing. Work that doesn't get published often has specific reasons it wasn't published.
But sometimes we can't point to any particular reason. Sometimes we're 100% certain that a particular piece is gold, and can't understand why it didn't sell.
While rejection is tough, clinging to something because you're emotionally invested in it isn't a smart career move. It's better to move on to something new. Even if you're sure it's good.
So what do you do next? Assuming you've sent you book/story to everyone, reworked it several times, and still struck out, what your next course of action?
1. Grieve. Depression is an obvious response to rejection. You're allowed to wallow in it, as long as the wallowing doesn't last for more than a day or two. If it lasts more than a week, then you probably really are the untalented whiny loser you think you are, and should chose another profession.
Winners don't mope. Winners chalk it up to experience and move on.
2. Put it away. Distance yourself from the project by getting it off your desk, computer, and out of sight. Stick it in a drawer and promise you won't take it out for at least a month. Then you can peek at it again with fresh eyes, and maybe you'll gain a new perspective on it. Maybe it isn't as good as you thought. And if it is, well, rejection is part of this profession. Get used to it.
3. Write. Writers write. You're a writer. So write something else.
4. Post it. We write because we want to be read. If you have a story or book that you can't forget about, no matter how hard you try, make it available for free on your website. Downloads, email installments, audio podcasts, newsgroups and message boards---the whole World Wide Web is waiting to read you.
That's pretty much a lie. Very few people on the Web will actually care about the stories you post. But it can't hurt, and maybe you'll get a few encouraging emails. There's also the small possibility you will get a lot of reads. Stranger things have happened. At the very least, you're getting more reads than if the story was in a drawer.
5. Publish it yourself. By which I mean DO NOT PUBLISH IT YOURSELF. If you really have to, visit www.lulu.com and use them. Don't get an ISBN. Don't try to list it on Amazon or get brick and mortar stores to carry it. Print up some copies for friends and family and leave it at that.
I've written scads about the perils of self-pubbing and POD, and I say DON'T DO IT. REALLY. I'M SERIOUS. THESE CAPITAL LETTERS SHOW YOU HOW SERIOUS I AM.
6. Network. The conferences, book fairs, and conventions you go to are great places to meet other writers and gossip about who is sleeping with whom and who just lost their agent and who is drinking too much.
They're also great places to find out who is editing which upcoming anthology. I've had several rejected tales that were magically resurrected because a peer contacted me, asking to submit something. Often they didn't ask. Often I asked them, after buying them a beer.
Having a few unpubbed stories in a folder isn't always a bad thing. When the right place meets the right time, you can pull them out. But this involves keeping an ear to the ground, and staying active in the community.
7. Read. Want to know what's selling? Buy and read what's being published, and you'll know what editors are looking for.
That doesn't mean jumping on the latest trend and writing a carbon copy--though a lot of writers aping The DaVinci Code and Harry Potter did okay with that. It actually means knowing what types of stories websites, periodicals, and publishers, are looking for.
Books and stories are bought by editors. Editors are people, with tastes. Appeal to their tastes.
8. Get over it. Yes, you spent a lot of time putting those words on the page, and they're dear to you. But put it in perspective. They're only words on a page. Even if those words did sell, you'd still have to move on and write something new.
Dwelling on past work, whether it was published or not, won't do anything for your future. I know too many writers who have been tinkering with a story, book, or manuscript for much longer than they've needed to. A better scenario is to abandon that albatross and begin a new project.
Conclusion. The publishing world, much like life, often isn't fun, fair, or easy. Don't blame the industry. That's just how it works. If you want to blame someone, look in the mirror. You're the one who chose this. If you're miserable, it's your own fault.
Also, if anyone reading this is editing an anthology, I'm pretty sure I've got something uniquely suited for it. Send me an email, and I can get it to you right away...
Friday, September 19, 2008
Artistic Anguish
Many writers say you have to write every day.
That's BS.
"Write when you can" is a good rule of thumb for newbie writers trying to break in, or those who have busy lives and need to micro-manage their time.
My personal motto is: "Write before it's due."
I don't believe in muses, any more than I believe in writer's block. I heard a fellow writer once say, "No one ever gets farmer's block." I agree. If your job is to be creative, performing on cue is a must.
And please don't overplay your own importance.
A famous writer once said, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."
She didn't ask for comments, but I'd offer, "Being trapped in a burning car seems a bit worse."
Writers tend to do two things really well: whine and inflate their own importance.
Who was that famous guy who spent an entire day anguishing over a semi-colon placement? Am I the only one who thinks this is ridiculous? And we're supposed to look up to him as some sort of ideal for artistic integrity?
Tell you what--spend two minutes fretting over the punctuation mark, then spend the other eight hours of the day volunteering at a soup kitchen. Then you'll have my admiration.
Writing IS NOT HARD. Laying bricks is hard. Curing disease is hard. Fighting in a war is hard.
Writing is sitting on your butt and stringing words together.
And what's with these writers who think all they have to do is write? They really, truly believe it is a publisher's job to sell the books, and all they have to do is turn in a decent manuscript.
Look, I'm the first person to admit that self-promotion is expensive, exhausting, time-consuming, and difficult. I'd much rather sit in my house and write books instead of doing all the travelling, lecturing, signing, and Internet busywork that currently occupies most of my professional life.
But name any other job that is 100% fun. Tell me who loves every second of their 9 to 5 day.
Imagine an executive saying, "It's not my job to take meetings" or a chef who insists "I won't cook vegetables."
Here's a shout out to all of my writing peers: We're entertainers. We're the folks who tap dance on the street corner for money. We should consider ourselves lucky to have this job, and be willing to do whatever we can to keep this job.
Save the drama for that journal your kids will throw away when you die, and realize how good you really have it.
And the next time you think that writing is hard, or that you don't want to self-promote, or that your precious words are the most important objects in the world, gimme a holler. I'll stop by with some matches and a can of lighter fluid and I'll help you readjust your priorities.
That's BS.
"Write when you can" is a good rule of thumb for newbie writers trying to break in, or those who have busy lives and need to micro-manage their time.
My personal motto is: "Write before it's due."
I don't believe in muses, any more than I believe in writer's block. I heard a fellow writer once say, "No one ever gets farmer's block." I agree. If your job is to be creative, performing on cue is a must.
And please don't overplay your own importance.
A famous writer once said, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."
She didn't ask for comments, but I'd offer, "Being trapped in a burning car seems a bit worse."
Writers tend to do two things really well: whine and inflate their own importance.
Who was that famous guy who spent an entire day anguishing over a semi-colon placement? Am I the only one who thinks this is ridiculous? And we're supposed to look up to him as some sort of ideal for artistic integrity?
Tell you what--spend two minutes fretting over the punctuation mark, then spend the other eight hours of the day volunteering at a soup kitchen. Then you'll have my admiration.
Writing IS NOT HARD. Laying bricks is hard. Curing disease is hard. Fighting in a war is hard.
Writing is sitting on your butt and stringing words together.
And what's with these writers who think all they have to do is write? They really, truly believe it is a publisher's job to sell the books, and all they have to do is turn in a decent manuscript.
Look, I'm the first person to admit that self-promotion is expensive, exhausting, time-consuming, and difficult. I'd much rather sit in my house and write books instead of doing all the travelling, lecturing, signing, and Internet busywork that currently occupies most of my professional life.
But name any other job that is 100% fun. Tell me who loves every second of their 9 to 5 day.
Imagine an executive saying, "It's not my job to take meetings" or a chef who insists "I won't cook vegetables."
Here's a shout out to all of my writing peers: We're entertainers. We're the folks who tap dance on the street corner for money. We should consider ourselves lucky to have this job, and be willing to do whatever we can to keep this job.
Save the drama for that journal your kids will throw away when you die, and realize how good you really have it.
And the next time you think that writing is hard, or that you don't want to self-promote, or that your precious words are the most important objects in the world, gimme a holler. I'll stop by with some matches and a can of lighter fluid and I'll help you readjust your priorities.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Casting Your Net
I just joined a few more online billboards.
This means, besides my blog and website, I'm maintaining 12 other hubs on the Internet. If you're curious, here are all the links:
Joe's Amazon blog: http://www.amazon.com/gp/blog/A1EF5ODLYYMZIU/ref=cm_blog_dp_artist_blog
Joe on Facebook: www.facebook.com/people/JA_Konrath/679343992
Joe on CrimeSpace: http://crimespace.ning.com/profile/Konrath
Joe on Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/137270.J_A_Konrath
Joe on ITW: http://www.thrillerwriters.org/connect/JA%20Konrath/
Joe on LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/JoeKonrath
Joe on MySpace: www.myspace.com/jakonrath
Joe on RedRoom: http://www.redroom.com/author/ja-konrath
Joe on Shelfari: http://www.shelfari.com/jakonrath
Joe on Squidoo: http://www.squidoo.com/jakonrath
Joe on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jakonrath
Joe on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._A._Konrath
Some require more maintenance than others. MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter lead the pack, needing to be updated almost daily. Others, such as Goodreads, Shelfari, RedRoom, and Crimespace, are fine to check up on once a week. The resy are mostly sites I can visit once a month. Squidoo and Lijit can be set up to practically run themselves.
Of course, the more time you spend on each of these, the more effective it becomes as a billboard.
At this point, I'm fine with having a toehold in each of these communities. People join them looking for books, or friends, or just something to entertain or inform, and I've made it easy for them to find something that fits the bill: Me.
That's the first step. But to truly take advantage of Internet relationships, the next step involves time. Time to seek out people on these sites. Time to announce yourself on them. Time to respond to those who have contacted you.
But is it worthwhile?
As the world continues its race into a digital future, it is becoming more and more common to have relationships with people you never actually meet in real life. And unlike real life, these relationships often have less baggage and more leeway. You aren't required to do as much, give as much, or be as responsible with online friends as with real life friends.
And yet, your online friends can vastly outnumber your real life friends, and they can also be a gigantic feather in your self-promotion cap. They can help spread the word. They can buy your books.
I've mentioned many times that people are searching for two things on the Internet: Information and Entertainment. While a visual medium, the net is still all about words. You enter words into Google. You read words in response.
Who better to blaze a trail in this frontier than people skilled to use words?
Your words, in the form of communication and correspondence, are a very effective way to garner supporters online. Your words, when advising and entertaining, will help to keep these relationships going, and are also helping to build relationships with people who you don't even know exist.
The majority of folks who visit my blog and website and billboards are lurkers. They stop by. They read. And if they like what the read, they often buy my books. All without ever letting me know.
It's great to have cheerleaders, linking to you, mentioning you, corresponding with you. But it's also great to have a silent audience who doesn't ask for more than the time you've already given creating a blog or homepage or billboard.
So I don't mind maintaining these billboards. And as more social networking sites spring up and gain popularity, I'll go there as well. I want to be where the people are. I have information and entertainment to give them, but it is only useful to them if they know it exists.
This means, besides my blog and website, I'm maintaining 12 other hubs on the Internet. If you're curious, here are all the links:
Joe's Amazon blog: http://www.amazon.com/gp/blog/A1EF5ODLYYMZIU/ref=cm_blog_dp_artist_blog
Joe on Facebook: www.facebook.com/people/JA_Konrath/679343992
Joe on CrimeSpace: http://crimespace.ning.com/profile/Konrath
Joe on Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/137270.J_A_Konrath
Joe on ITW: http://www.thrillerwriters.org/connect/JA%20Konrath/
Joe on LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/JoeKonrath
Joe on MySpace: www.myspace.com/jakonrath
Joe on RedRoom: http://www.redroom.com/author/ja-konrath
Joe on Shelfari: http://www.shelfari.com/jakonrath
Joe on Squidoo: http://www.squidoo.com/jakonrath
Joe on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/jakonrath
Joe on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._A._Konrath
Some require more maintenance than others. MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter lead the pack, needing to be updated almost daily. Others, such as Goodreads, Shelfari, RedRoom, and Crimespace, are fine to check up on once a week. The resy are mostly sites I can visit once a month. Squidoo and Lijit can be set up to practically run themselves.
Of course, the more time you spend on each of these, the more effective it becomes as a billboard.
At this point, I'm fine with having a toehold in each of these communities. People join them looking for books, or friends, or just something to entertain or inform, and I've made it easy for them to find something that fits the bill: Me.
That's the first step. But to truly take advantage of Internet relationships, the next step involves time. Time to seek out people on these sites. Time to announce yourself on them. Time to respond to those who have contacted you.
But is it worthwhile?
As the world continues its race into a digital future, it is becoming more and more common to have relationships with people you never actually meet in real life. And unlike real life, these relationships often have less baggage and more leeway. You aren't required to do as much, give as much, or be as responsible with online friends as with real life friends.
And yet, your online friends can vastly outnumber your real life friends, and they can also be a gigantic feather in your self-promotion cap. They can help spread the word. They can buy your books.
I've mentioned many times that people are searching for two things on the Internet: Information and Entertainment. While a visual medium, the net is still all about words. You enter words into Google. You read words in response.
Who better to blaze a trail in this frontier than people skilled to use words?
Your words, in the form of communication and correspondence, are a very effective way to garner supporters online. Your words, when advising and entertaining, will help to keep these relationships going, and are also helping to build relationships with people who you don't even know exist.
The majority of folks who visit my blog and website and billboards are lurkers. They stop by. They read. And if they like what the read, they often buy my books. All without ever letting me know.
It's great to have cheerleaders, linking to you, mentioning you, corresponding with you. But it's also great to have a silent audience who doesn't ask for more than the time you've already given creating a blog or homepage or billboard.
So I don't mind maintaining these billboards. And as more social networking sites spring up and gain popularity, I'll go there as well. I want to be where the people are. I have information and entertainment to give them, but it is only useful to them if they know it exists.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
No Dues is Good Dues
When I first became published, I joined every writing organization I could think of. I wanted to meet other writers, to learn about the industry, to be invited to exclusive gatherings, to have the opportunity to be included in anthologies, to get my name and bibliography in mailing lists and newsletters and on websites.
I eventually let all of my memberships lapse, with the sole exception being the International Thriller Writers.
The reason for not rejoining these organizations was a purely selfish one--I didn't feel that they were worth the seemingly ever-increasing dues I had to pay. I believe writing organizations are supposed to help writers, but I couldn't really point to anything helpful being done for me or for my career.
Networking with fellow industry professionals is a wonderful experience, but I discovered I could do that without spending several hundred bucks a year in membership fees.
I've never really understood the importance of awards, and have found some of them to be nepotistic and self-congratulatory.
The organizational newsletters and websites that listed my books also listed 3000 other books, making me wonder about their effectiveness.
I kept up my ITW membership because that organization did help me and my career, namely by putting one of my stories in a high-profile anthology. They did other things as well, but that was a biggie and it earned my loyalty .
Then just yesterday, ITW sent out an email that said, in part:
From the beginning, ITW was not – and was never intended to be – a writer’s organization like most others. Our purpose was not to collect dues, publish newsletters, and have a convention once a year where we get together and talk about what fine fellows we are. We are a group of published writers who have banded together to promote our genre in an innovative, effective way. With that in mind, the Board of Directors decided in July that dues are inconsistent with our mission, and we have voted to eliminate all membership fees for qualified, active members.
Well color me impressed.
With this one decision, ITW has made me believe there is an organization that truly wants to help me and my career. But it's done more than that. I've long stood fast to the belief that volunteering is masochistic, and no good deed goes unpunished. However, if the ITW decides it needs me for something, anything, they've got me, no questions asked.
For the first time in my professional life I feel proud of being part of writing organization. And it's a really nice feeling.
To learn more about the ITW, visit www.internationalthrillerwriters.com.
I eventually let all of my memberships lapse, with the sole exception being the International Thriller Writers.
The reason for not rejoining these organizations was a purely selfish one--I didn't feel that they were worth the seemingly ever-increasing dues I had to pay. I believe writing organizations are supposed to help writers, but I couldn't really point to anything helpful being done for me or for my career.
Networking with fellow industry professionals is a wonderful experience, but I discovered I could do that without spending several hundred bucks a year in membership fees.
I've never really understood the importance of awards, and have found some of them to be nepotistic and self-congratulatory.
The organizational newsletters and websites that listed my books also listed 3000 other books, making me wonder about their effectiveness.
I kept up my ITW membership because that organization did help me and my career, namely by putting one of my stories in a high-profile anthology. They did other things as well, but that was a biggie and it earned my loyalty .
Then just yesterday, ITW sent out an email that said, in part:
From the beginning, ITW was not – and was never intended to be – a writer’s organization like most others. Our purpose was not to collect dues, publish newsletters, and have a convention once a year where we get together and talk about what fine fellows we are. We are a group of published writers who have banded together to promote our genre in an innovative, effective way. With that in mind, the Board of Directors decided in July that dues are inconsistent with our mission, and we have voted to eliminate all membership fees for qualified, active members.
Well color me impressed.
With this one decision, ITW has made me believe there is an organization that truly wants to help me and my career. But it's done more than that. I've long stood fast to the belief that volunteering is masochistic, and no good deed goes unpunished. However, if the ITW decides it needs me for something, anything, they've got me, no questions asked.
For the first time in my professional life I feel proud of being part of writing organization. And it's a really nice feeling.
To learn more about the ITW, visit www.internationalthrillerwriters.com.
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