Monday, January 02, 2012

New Blog and Updates

I'm going to be super busy this month on a personal project, along with finishing up the next Timecaster book.

I've created a blog for my project here:

As you can see by the URL, I'm going on a diet. A very special diet where I won't eat any food for 30 days.

Instead, I'll subsist on beer.

Yes, I'm serious. One unintended side-effect of the ebook revolution is that I spend 17 hours a day in front of my computer, and the only real exercise I get is sex, which amounts to about three minutes a week.

As a result, I've become a real fat ass. But there's no way I'd ever give up beer, which I love. So instead I'm going to stop eating.

I started today.

I think this is a really good idea, but that may be because I've been drinking all day on an empty stomach.

The Newbie's Guide will continue, mostly via guest posts. If you've sent me a a guest post, keep an eye out because I may post it without any warning.

I've gotten a lot of email about the KDP Select Program from writers asking if I endorse it or not. Though December ended, we won't find out how much each pro rata borrow share (of a $500,000 pot) is worth until later this month, so I can't comment on that. But those of you who were paying attention noticed I released most of my ebooks for free during the last week of December.

The ability to make your ebook free to all Amazon customers (not just Prime members) for a period of five days is a perk of the KDP Select Program. And quite a perk it is. Making my books free helped get them onto the free bestseller lists, and when the free period ended many of them got onto the paid bestseller lists.

But you want numbers, right?

I won't have the exact figures until I get my December totals from Amazon, but I'm pleased to say that from Dec 25 - Dec 31 I made more than $50,000.

It has slowed down a little since then. Yesterday I made about $5500, and today I'm currently (6pm) at $4000.

I'm curious to see what Amazon will give authors per Prime download, because I've had a few thousand of those.

I've seen a lot of grumbling over the fact that inclusion in the KDP Select Program means making the title exclusive to Kindle. Obviously, I don't see a problem with that. Besides, it is only for three months.

Ebooks are forever, remember?

I still can't give the program my full endorsement until more data comes in, but so far I'm thrilled with it. I also have to admit that even though I scored big with two titles, The List and Trapped, my many other titles aren't doing nearly as well. The List, which is still in the Top 100, has sold 2832 copies this year, with 1153 borrows.  Shot of Tequila is at 547 sales, and 167 borrows. Origin is 458 sales and 245 borrows. Trapped is 319 sales and 192 borrows, and Endurance is 207 sales and 154 borrows. So even if we take The List out of the equation, my other top-selling titles are earning me about $800 a day, or $300k a year, which ain't chump change.

How long will this last? I dunno. Perhaps I just caught the perfect wave, and this will be impossible to replicate.

But remember my New Year's Resolutions list, when I talked about doing experiments and taking chances?

I took a big chance, making my ebook free during the Christmas holiday week. I could have lost a bundle. Instead, I was lucky it paid off. No guts, not glory.

That said, in 2011 the months of January - April were very good months. I don't see why they won't be good this year as well.

Happy new year, everyone! I gotta go crack another beer.


Sam said...

That's tremendous, Joe.

I enjoyed Joe Cross' documentary about living on vegetable juice for 60 days, but your idea sounds even better.

Joseph said...

Whoa. Good luck with that!

That's one way to go about a New Years resolution!

Unknown said...

Thank you for your transparency about sales. You said the sales numbers you gave were for "this year". You mean just the two days of 2011?
I totally agree with what you're saying about making the book free. I did that for 3 days and had over 2500 downloads of my only title in that time. But my sales after that went from 1-2 copies/day to 30-40/day. Given that I did nothing else during that time (except eat & drink heavily), we can safely attribute it to the book being free for 3 days.

Fatima said...

That sounds...interesting. Good luck!

David Wisehart said...

Congrats, Joe!

My experiment with KDP Select worked out very well, too. I'll definitely be trying it with my next book.


Shelia A. Huggins said...

I'm planning on trying out KDP Select for my next book, which should be out in a couple of months. Since it will be a new book, I won't have to worry about trying to take it down from other sites. That sounds like a bit of a bore. It will start out on Amazon exclusively, and I'll add other sites after the promo ends.

In the meantime, since I don't drink beer (I'm beginning to think I'm really missing something), maybe I could go on a hot chocolate diet.

Blogger said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Blogger said...

Good luck with the beer diet … love it! :) Cassandra

Ellen Britt, PA, Ed.D. said...

Thanks for the numbers Joe!

I used KDP Select for my Southern short story and had over 1000 downloads. Sales have picked up as well, even though it's a Christmas story and clearly seasonal.

Looking forward to more info when you have it on your KDP "borrow" results.

Marta Szemik said...

Those are some great numbers I can only dream of. Perhaps one day if I'm lucky :) Congratulations! What is your favorite beer Joe? I know it's a silly question, but not to someone who likes beer, so you understand why I'm asking :) Cheers!

JA Konrath said...

What is your favorite beer Joe?

That's like asking which of my children I love most.

I have favorite beer styles, notably Russian Imperials, Oatmeal Stouts, Barley Wines, IPAs. I also lvoe extreme beers like DuClaw Colossus, Sonoran 200, Sam Adams Utopias. Just picked up two bottles of Double Black Damnation (26% abv) that I'm eager to try.

Love Dogfish Head 120, Three Floyds Behemoth, Bruery Black Tuesday and Chocolate Rain, Goose Island Bourbon Country and King Henry, Bell's Hopslam, Founders KBS.

I've been known to slum with Westy 12s, but they really aren't worth the $200 a six pack. However, I once paid $250 for a four pack of Sam Adams Patriot Collection beers.

M.L.Daniels said...

I cannot say that I approve of the diet, but I'm excited about the rest of your news. Sounds like you're starting your new year out with a bang! God bless!

Nathan Jendrick said...

The beer diet could work. I once read a study about how beer drinkers have an average waist circumference smaller than non-beer drinkers. This could be your next big thing.

But if it doesn't work, let me know. I wrote a book called Gym-Free and Ripped that's made for people in your situation: You know, wealthy, bestselling authors who can't get to the gym.

Anyway, it has been pretty well received, and I'm a fan of yours, so I'll gladly send a copy gratis. But, it is published by a big corporate hatemonger, so not sure if it could survive in your house.

Oh - and thanks for your thoughts on the Kindle Select program. Always enjoy your opinions on what's going on in the self-publishing world!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

That's a crazy diet. If it works, you'll probably be able to make a bundle writing a diet book.

Vik Rubenfeld said...

Good plan, and hilarious! You might consider vegetable juice (no more than 10% fruit juice included).

JA Konrath said...

You might consider vegetable juice

Can you get buzzed off of V8?

Joe Flynn said...

All that beer, you better watch out you don't get a brewer's yeast infection.

Cyn Bagley said...

Good luck on kdp - I decided to see how I would do in it, but so far none borrowed. However, the free books (5 day promotion) did really well. I gave-away 9x more books than I sold.

Only thing I can say about the beer is that I hope you are drinking that good German beer. When I was in Germany, it was really good beer. Nowadays I am not allowed to drink alcohol.

Good luck in all your endeavors,

SBJones said...

You can put beer in the V8.

V.A. Jeffrey said...

>>Can you get buzzed off of V8?<<

You can if you add vodka. But I guess you didn't say you were on the vodka diet. :o)

Patrice said...

8500 free downloads for my thriller, RUNNING. In one day. I think I showed up on the Movers & Shakers list, and got noticed.

Now it sells at about 50-90/day. Previously it sold at about 5-30 books per month.

Good luck with the beer thing. My husband says it's bread in liquid form. Actually, there's a "Drunk Diet" book coming out in a couple of months...

bettye griffin said...

Sounds like free is the new 99 cents...

To free or not to free? That is the question.

While I do believe in taking chances, I'm still trying to decide the best course to take for me...because one writer's free success is another writer's free failure.

Walter Knight said...

Killing brain cells with beers makes for better writing? I knew it!

And all this time, I thought licking a frog and talking to God was the answer. I'll never do that again.

Thanks joe.

Glynn James said...

Weird. I get the opposite of sales "bumps" after putting books free. They seem to shoot up the "free" ranks, get downloaded thousands of times, but then when they stop being free it's like I haven't sold a single book (which obviously I haven't) in the period it was free.

Result = rank plummets way below what it was previously and takes a week or so to climb back up = Less sales.

I get better sales when I don't give my books away, and even more so when I price higher (not stupidly high).

Of course, I still keep falling for other peoples success stories and lowering prices (and regretting it later).

Very odd.

Glynn James said...

Oh, and you need to try Hobgoblin beer, Joe.

Archangel said...

dear joe; pls be careful if you are serious about drinking only beer for 30 days. Your body will start eating your own lean muscle (it is there despite whatever extra weight) which includes your heart muscle, when body is deprived of protein. Also, without adequate nutrition and clear water, can throw your electrolytes off which regulate heartbeat among other critical systems of body. Adults and children who lose their electrolyte balances can die suddenly. Please take good care of yourself and be safe. I'm not 'mom', just a friend from afar. You deserve good health, including sane weight loss if that is your desire.


Andreas Louw said...

I was on a brandy diet once and the weight fell off three times. Oh, sorry, it was me that fell off three times, once from the back of a boat and twice from my front porch.

Idiot Cook said...

Thanks, as always, for sharing the data and your insight.

As for the beer diet, I just checked out your blog (love the pics!), and you're right about the monks. You've probably heard about this guy, but just in case, last year a guy drank only beer for Lent. Here's a link to an article that talks about it

Unknown said...

I knew somebody who went on an all alcohol diet for 6 weeks. The good news is he lost about 40 pounds during that time. The bad news is that when he tried to reintroduce solid food into his diet (starting with just one corn chip) his body wouldn't take it and he would vomit it back out.

An all alcohol diet may garner plenty of publicity, but is otherwise a horrible idea.

Janice Lane Palko said...

Hi Joe,

Weight gain seems to be side effect of being a writer. I think we should demand hazard pay.

Good luck,


Jason D. Morrow said...

What is there to do for 17 hours per day in front of a computer?

Nancy Beck said...

I think this is the same diet my husband is on. ;-)

Wow - those are awesome numbers for your books! I decided to opt out of KDP for various reasons, one being that I already have books on both Amazon and Smash, and I really didn't want to go thru the hassle of taking them down.

However, I'll be starting up a new series, so I might consider putting the first one into KDP (it takes me 2-3 months to crank out the next in a series anyway).

Happy New Year everybody! :-)

Nancy Beck said...


Have you ever tried anything from Weyerbacher? They're the local brewery where I live.

They have a LOT of big beers - Merry Monks, Old Heathen, Quad (all of which are too big for me). They have a bunch of other beers in their line up, too numerous to mention

Merry Monks is a trippel, Old Heathen is an imperial stout, and Quad (obviously) is a quadrupel.

Sorry to hijack the comments, but my hubby and I were really into the microbrew scene a couple of years ago, and still have some contacts. :-)

JA Konrath said...

Have you ever tried anything from Weyerbacher?

I've got a 2004 Insanity in my cellar, and just picked up an Idiot's Drool. Looking forward to both.

Trance St. Croix said...

"Making my books free helped get them onto the free bestseller lists, and when the free period ended many of them got onto the paid bestseller lists."

First, WOW on the sales. Kindle is the new venue for rockstar money for the few at the top. I'm dumbfounded that there's so much money to be had. I'm also major jealous.

I made one of my bestseller's free for two days on 12/30-31/11. It climbed to about 280 in free books and got downloaded about 3,000 times. When it returned to the PAID list, however, it had completely dropped off all top 100 lists since it had no sales for 2 days.

I went into a total panic.

Over the last few days it has climbed back up to where it originally started. Still, you never know if that will happen. I think it only happened because it was now visible as a CUSTOMERS ALSO BOUGHT book on a number of other free books, including yours BTW.

In the end things turned out OK. But, I'd never take a topseller and make it free again. I'd take a book that isn't already high on a 100 list so there's no big deal when it slips off.

Ingpark said...

Congrats on the sales. My agency missed getting the promotion started the week after Christmas. They were on vacation!!! During the best e-sales week of the year.

Good luck with the diet. It's a tad weird and may produce strange plots, but all your other experiments seem to have worked. :)
I.J.Parker (you changed the sign-up system)

Ingpark said...

Congrats on the sales. My agency missed getting the promotion started the week after Christmas. They were on vacation!!! During the best e-sales week of the year.

Good luck with the diet. It's a tad weird and may produce strange plots, but all your other experiments seem to have worked. :)
I.J.Parker (you changed the sign-up system)

Darlene Underdahl said...

Don’t back-burner the sex… use it or lose it, lol.

Scott Daniel said...

Joe, seriously, you are going to damage your health if you follow through on this beer thing. Whatever weight you do lose will come right back when you start eating again. You didn't put the weight on over night and you shouldn't try to take it off over night.

You are going to have to modify your lifestyle some to keep the weight off. I know I sound like Big Brother, but, shit, dude, you're making truckloads of money. Why are you sitting at the keyboard 17 hours a day? Balance, grasshopper, balance.

Rob Blackwell said...

Have you tried hard cider, Joe? Strongbow? Woodchuck?
Might be a nice change of pace from all that beer.

Mike Dennis said...

I took a chance on KDP Select, too, Joe, and it paid off. The book I made free was the first in a series, and it was previously buried in the rankings, around 100,000. Then, I had over 13,000 downloads on Dec 29-30, following which it emerged into the top 1000 paid, sailing as high as 554.

It was also on the first also-bought page of quite a few bestsellers, including yours, and I've sold nearly 400 copies of it since it returned to the paid store.

Now, however, it's disappeared from the first also-bought pages and it's slipping in the rankings (currently 773). If it drops all the way back to 100,000 I will be VERY disappointed. I'm hoping it will level off sometime soon and find its legs.

Dustin Scott Wood said...

Awesome sales, Joe. Congratulations and thank you for the inspiring words you put on here.

Adam Pepper said...

Wow! You've gone and done it this time, Konrath. My father once did a milkshake diet. Not slimfast but real milkshakes. Nothing but milkshakes, morning, noon and night.

He gained weight.

I never, ever count Joe out on anything, knowing the combination of stubborness, driveness and insanity he possesses. But I have to say...I dont think you'll make it.

Good luck!

Gary Ponzo said...

I agree with Scott, Joe. Unless you have a master plan to revise your eating habits once you return to food, the weight will return. I'm rooting for you, but moderate exercise and diet need to be part of the longterm plan.
Good luck.

Ann Voss Peterson said...

Whatever you do, don't die. We have books to write.

Enjoy your liquid bread.

thip said...

Well, I'm not your mom, either, but ... that diet idea is plain dumb. Sorry. You can look up the details on Wiki, but your body is a cell colony, and each cell needs a certain amount of a variety of nutrients regularly. If fed insufficiently, this cell colony will start cannibalizing itself. Good thing when it cannibalizes its fat, less good when if cannibalizes its own protein, a.k.a. muscle. Even less good when the absence of micronutrients (a.k.a. vitamins and minerals) hamper your cells' ability to function properly at all. Downright bad when you return to normal eating and find that your body gains weight even easier than before, because the starvation period has triggered a reduced metabolism. OK, essay over - but why don't you try a book afficionado's diet : walking while listening to audiobooks? You should be able to afford a few of'em, due to your well-earned success ;-)

T.S. O'Rourke said...

Ahhh.. you need to drink bottle-fermented beer. Full of vitamins and Belgian love. But from what I see you got some of that in your list too :)
If you want to keep the weight off try stopping the food and making your own beer... works for me...

JA Konrath said...

It's nice that so many people are concerned for my health, but this diet is essentially a fast, and fasts are pretty healthy. I'm not concerned about getting ill. My major concern is having the self control not to stuff my face with Cheetos.

Mmmm. Cheetos.

Kay Bratt said...


I also thank you for your continued transparency and advice. I wrote you way way back in 2008 or 2009. I've slowly been building my fan base and now have 4 books out there. (One Indie book, Silent Tears was picked up by AmazonEncore and just this last November, HMH launched it as one of their own)

I just released a novel called Chasing China and put it free for 2-days after Christmas. It put me into the Top 100 Paid list for 5 days now...even got down to #24 overall Kindle books! (I was beating you this weekend and it was my personal high moment) Though the book was downloaded 28,000 FREE times, after that I've sold 4,000 copies. Since Dec 29.

So--again, thanks for all you do and I love your dry sense of humor. It's the only time I laugh all day, when I'm reading your blog.

Sean McCartney said...

How does one go about putting their book up for free?


jammyjaybird said...

Joe, why don't you just get a walking desk? You can burn several hundred calories a day without giving up anything else in your life. And you've got the dough for one (no pun intended).

Ursula said...

Weststephaner Dunklebock has miraculous curative powers. I have experienced them first hand.

KDP rocked it for me, I followed your well laid out model including free dec 29/30, and am now in the top 30 gothic romance paid. Spent a while free on top 20 romantic suspense. Surpise surprise, the wheel - it works! (thanks!)

Don't forgot you will need a periodic application of nachos whilst on the beer diet. It helps promote the burn.

Nancy Beck said...

@Sean - To get a book on Amazon for free, you either have to have it free on another site (like Smashwords) and the Amazon bot has to find that (which can be hit or miss), or you have to sign up for the KDP Select program, which is what Joe and others are talking about here.

If you go into your Amazon dashboard (or whatever they call it), you'll see a button/dropdown list that says something like "Sign up for KDP Select." They also have enticements for the program all over the AMZ dashboard.

If you decide to sign up for Select and you have books on other websites, you'll have to take them down; Select demands exclusivity for 90 days, and then you have to physically opt out - or the book(s) will continue to be enrolled in the program.

Hope that's what you were looking for. :-)

Demon Daughter

J.P. Kurzitza said...

My New Year's resolution this year was to not envy or be jealous of other authors, especially successful self-pubbed authors. Dude, your sales figures aren't helping... Ease up a tad, would ya? How about drinking for 17 hours a day, and writing for the remainder instead.

Maria Santicelli said...

Just wondering ... wouldn't the whole thing also work with non-alcoholic beer? It doesn't taste as well, granted, but for those who fear for your liver it'd be the perfect compromise ;-)

Yuwanda Black said...

I couldn't stop laughing reading this Joe (especially when I clicked out to the blog). The part about having sex with pizza made me howl!

Can't wait for the book, I'm sure it'll be hilarious.

I understand your hunger pains. I tried a vegetarian diet earlier this year after seeing video of myself in a bikini. I was soooooo hungry on it, especially the first week.

The pangs eventually subsidied, but I couldn't stick with the diet (I still do a modified version of it).

Here's wishing you better luck!

J. R. Tomlin said...

Okaaaay... A beer diet. May be interesting to find out how that affects your word output.

Great news on the sales. I'll be happy if I get your sales for December for the whole year... on the other hand, my sales are good enough at the moment that I probably will and you'll hear nary a complaint.

In 2 days I had 9500 downloads of A Kingdom's Cost and it's been selling well ever since and it had lagged for most of the year. I'm not sure how many sales since my bookkeeping pretty much sucks but a few hundred anyway.

Yeah, things are looking good and for the moment I'm pretty darn happy with Select.

jvin248 said...

Good news on the sales.

As for the diet thing .. it's an occupational hazard that typing isn't like digging ditches (which happened to top a chart of calorie burning I looked at last summer - now lots of ditches in my yard...).

I converted a treadmill into a walking desk and write about a thousand words a mile for the last month. It's easier than you think. Ever go for a walk to think something over? Use a desktop keyboard and external mouse for the best success.

Kelly Robinson said...

I was all prepared to lecture you, but then I realized that I'm pretty certain you won't be able to do the beer diet for 30 days. I don't know if the lightheadedness or the diarrhea will get you first --or maybe just the desire for food-- but I think you'll learn the lesson long before the 30 days are up.

David said...

Perhaps one of the funniest articles I've ever read in Modern Drunkard magazine - the 30 day beer fast.

"You’re probably wondering what happened to Day 9 through Day 23. Me too."

Archangel said...

dear Joe, ok, I hear what you said re"fast." But/and... you cannot do a 30 day fast on alcohol without injuring your body. And your brain.

I hate sounding like this, but/ and... Your body, as others have pointed out has to have nutrition.

Also, if you are taking any medication or supplements, there can be serious unintended consequences for your body by mixing alcohol and meddies/supplements.

Your body, kidneys, lungs, brain, major organs need to be washed and nourished regularly with water (not water extracted from another fluid, a body in a 'fast' has to work way too hard to do that.

In medical fasts, people are given liquid high quality protein to keep their muscles (heart, breathing muscles, etc) intact. Once you lose muscle in the heart, it cannot be regained that we know of. ON a medical fast, people are also given about 15 cups of equiv of pedialyte per day, to nourish and wash their organs and not harm their autonomic nervous system-- that regulates heartbeat, hormonal balances and brain chemistry, amongst others.

I'd also just mention, that as with chronic cigarette smoking, daily alcohol drinking in some men, can cause narrowing (atrophy and other processes of narrowing of blood carriers in the body --a process of corrosion from alcohol and smoking when these 'starve' the body, but which we dont completely understand yet)... but it appears that when body is starving, it pulls nutrients from the edges of body to the center as much as it can... and that means peripheral organs and vessels go un-nourished and begin to atrophy.

Since certain 'below the waist' functions are dependent on blood flowing into veins and capillaries at certain times, and also dependent on a certain musculature to hold the blood 'in' tightly, it would be better to be on a food program that definitely nourishes vein walls and preserves muscle.

I like you so much and though I'm not mom, I am a friend from afar, and there are so so many ways to lose weight Joe and keep it off or at least 'down'... but not at expense of your one precious and irreplaceable body. Many of us who are writers fight the battle of too much slow walk and too much fast eat. You can conquer this issue. We're all working at this, together. Hopefully you will take a more moderate program to do so.

My daughter and son are in fitness competitions (I myself am hopeless in that area) and suggest something for you high in protein, very little starch, lots of red and yellow and green fruits and vegetables... clean eating, Joe, for even one week will make you feel so much better in more ways than one.

and cheetos (I know, I know, lots of us make for the 'fast food' instead of thinking about what will nourish us... and instead of taking the time to buy it and fix it) have to be in the brig for a while.

So, Joe, just in case you be stubborn bullheaded and insist on 30 day beer 'fast' that can have such deleterious efffect, here are signs you should stop immediately. Golgatha type headache. Intense irritability (more than normal), feeling angrier than usual. Coldness of toes, fingertips and/or nose. A shaky sensation in any part of the body. Trouble sleeping through 8 hours. Tremor of any kind. Heart palpitations. Sweating more than usual. A sense of feeling sluggish or drugged. A sense of feeling more hyper or emotional than usual. Deep yellow urine. Blood coming from anywhere. Diarrhea or cement constipation...

diarrhea causes more loss of critical electrolytes, and without emptying intestines daily, that causes cumulative profound toxin buildup in the body that also interrupts electrolyte balance. Heart. Heart. Heart is the most vulnerable.

If you have any of these symptoms or other symptoms of body distress not listed here, please Joe, Stop and eat something truly nourishing. Please be convinced.


Archangel said...

I have to say this too... have to Joe... if there is any chance you have type II diabetes, pls go to your physician immediately. Messing with glucose and electrolytes even without diabetes can be so dangerous. Add to the list of symptoms therefore, falling asleep after ingesting whatever you are drinking. Add also, breath that smells fruit-like. Add, frequent urination. Add, sensation of ongoing thirst. Add, falling into a stupor. Not funny stupor, real one.

You know, I know you know, that any time a person starts an extreme diet, they should be checked out with a doc first, A1C test, regular panel of blood tests, a heart listen. A lung listen. A check for thyroid and viscera soundness.

I am going to go pray now. Please reconsider, Joe. There are any number of food program options that will work. Take good, good care.

Coolkayaker1 said...

With all due respect, as a doctor I can tell you that your diet will lead to diabetes an cirrhosis of the liver.

Drink beer and go for a long walk every day. A long slow walk.

All your success as a writer means nothing without your health.

As my wife says to me, "do it for me and the kids. Don't leave us alone.". Wives have a way of saying things, Joe.


thip said...

Fasting is about as healthy as bleeding, Joe ;o) Same basic idea, burn or bleed "impurities" from your body. Gurus of all religions recommend it as part of the overall turning-away from bodily distractions, not for health reasons. In a medical/biological sense, fasting makes no sense. Like trying to run your car without gas. It isn't rocket science, but it IS science - get the right kind and amount of "gas" in without including too much "pollution" (such as alcohol, BTW). Keep the system shipshape with the necessary amount of exercise (more-than-enough exercise is not healthy, either!). Even an over-busy, over-lazy keyboard jockey like myself can slip in a daily walk and the odd half-hour run 2-3 times a week (supplementary iron-pumping is optional, but good for frustration-venting *LOL*). I love your e-book market analyses precisely because you use a scientific attitude : experiments and numbers. Why'd you treat your poor body worse than you treat your books? You'd be doing both your body and your fellow authors a great favor if you changed that new blog to something like "How overworked authors get and stay in shape and still have time earn a fortune on e-books" ;o)

Unknown said...

At least you can look forward to having a cold/flu free winter. How often do you see a wino with a cold?


JA Konrath said...

In a medical/biological sense, fasting makes no sense. Like trying to run your car without gas.

But I do have gas. It's called stored fat, which my body can use as energy.

People seem to keep forgetting that fat is evolution's way of feeding an organism where there is no food.

JA Konrath said...

I can tell you that your diet will lead to diabetes an cirrhosis of the liver.

As a doctor, you seriously believe a 30 day beer fast will lead to diabetes and cirrhosis?

Want to put some money on that prediction, Doc? :)

JA Konrath said...

they should be checked out with a doc first, A1C test, regular panel of blood tests, a heart listen. A lung listen.

Check out my beer blog. I'm perhaps the healthiest obese guy on the planet.

John Barlow said...

Isn’t this what John Cheever did his whole career...

If you want some variation, a couple of decent beers from Spain are Estrella Damm and Estrella Galicia 1906, if you can get ’em. Damm also does a double malt (8%) which always sets you up well for the evening.

Sean McCartney said...

Thanks Nancy. :)


B. Rehder said...

I'm giving Select a try with BUCK FEVER. Nearly 400 free downloads since midnight. My question is, where are all these people seeing that it's available for free? Is there a page on Amazon that lists newly free books?

@Ruby_Barnes said...

The Konrath diet? Even in Ireland 30 days would be classed as a major bender.

'Watching video of myself in my underwear is something I should have done years ago.' Yeah, totally agree!


Hunter F. Goss said...

I’ll wish you good luck with the beer diet, Joe, even though I’m a bit disappointed. You never struck me as the sort to put all his eggs in one basket on any issue.

As to Kindle Select, I’m passing for now. That program strikes me as making the most sense for someone going into indie publishing as a midlist writer and is putting up their oop/backlist titles. I think for that person, Kindle Select is a great way to create a synergy between free and paid titles. If done right, I can see how someone can achieve the results you and others are reporting.

But for someone like me who’s starting out from dead zero, I think it’s more important to concentrate on getting a minimal volume of good quality work out into the marketplace.

Others might disagree, and please, say so if you do. But I have to do what I believe is right for me and my particular situation.

Todd Trumpet said...

Joe's Beer Diet:

Makes sense.

Consume mass quantities of liquid bread while earning mass quantities of electronic bread.

From ale to sale.


bettye griffin said...

I'd love an answer to B. Rehder's question myself. How does one keep their eBook from getting lost in the glut of freebies?

David L. Shutter said...


Here's a reason to pop open another one: Hyperion CEO admits traditioanal publishing business model is broken. Full article here.

There's one rock teetering and falling off the top of the dam.


Writing Trip

B. Rehder said...

So far, I'm at about 3,000 free downloads of BUCK FEVER since midnight, and #87 on the free bestseller list. Hope this carries over into some sales later. Thanks, Joe.


Rachel Donnelly said...

Thanks for the stats on KDP select. And good luck with the diet.Sounds much better than salade.

Walter Knight said...

Joe, I need your advice. My Aunt Marge was abducted by an iguana hiding in the barn.

I think the iguana is really an alien, but I do not know for sure. It is really a good liar. We thought that Marge was the liar, always cracking those jokes about a talking lizard in her backyard and a spaceship in her barn. It turns out she kept a straight face because she was not joking.

Whe she disappeared, I flew out to see if I could find anything. I have always been good about finding things, but finding Aunt Marge has been real hard. I have not found her yet, but I figured I would write all this down. Better if I did it all right away. I keep a note pad by my bed.

It could really be aliens who got her, because of the spaceship in the barn and all the oil stains on the grass. I asked the police to test for radiation, but they were too busy. I suspect the police might not have an open mind about aliens. I think either the aliens left in the spaceship, or the iguana ate her.

So, I would like some advice: if I eat the iguana, is it cannibalism?
Edit your post:
To insert a product link use the format: [[ASIN:ASIN product-title]] (What's this?)
My Aunt Marge was abducted by an iguana hiding in the barn.

I think the iguana is really an alien, but I do not know for sure. It is really a good liar. We thought that Marge was the liar, always cracking those jokes about a talking lizard in her backyard and a spaceship in her barn. It turns out she kept a straight face because she was not joking.

Whe she disappeared, I flew out to see if I could find anything. I have always been good about finding things, but finding Aunt Marge has been real hard. I have not found her yet, but I figured I would write all this down. Better if I did it all right away. I keep a note pad by my bed.

It could really be aliens who got her, because of the spaceship in the barn and all the oil stains on the grass. I asked the police to test for radiation, but they were too busy. I suspect the police might not have an open mind about aliens. I think either the aliens left in the spaceship, or the iguana ate her.

So, I would like some advice: if I eat the iguana, is it cannibalism? said...
This comment has been removed by the author. said...

My book THE YOGA MINIBOOK FOR WEIGHT LOSS went Kindle Select free for two days. After that my book remains at #2 in Kindle Yoga Books and #1 in Hot Releases!
When you’re finished with your beer diet maybe you’ll want to try my yoga diet! Happy, Healthy New Year!

Rick Schworer said...

You made $50k in in six days? Nice!

I write non-fiction Bible study books. They used to sell about 1-2 a day, but now they're selling at an average of 61 a day since I gave two of them out for free on December 31st. I had over 2,000 free downloads that day.

I feel very blessed and fortunate!

Selena Kitt said...

You do like to create a spectacle, don't you? lol

Just keep getting your labs done, please. Especially your liver.

You crazy man. :)

Adam Pepper said...

Dave Shutter,

Thanks for posting. It seemed like Ms. Archer at Hyperion is a bit more of a forward thinker than some of the other top brass in NY. At least, that was my impression from the article compared to other recent articles we've seen posted here and elsewhere.

Maybe there's hope yet.

David L. Shutter said...


That's what I thought. Kudos to Mrs. Archer; first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem.

That said it's kinda silly to continue to posture that everything's just fine when you industry is putting out still-born efforts like Book Country Fair and Hatchette memos in the face of cataclysmic change. IMHO.


Writing Trip

Archangel said...

still thinking of you Joe and wishing you 'health", sturdy health choices.


H.L. Baker said...

Can you get scurvy in a month? Hope not.

Personally I couldn't do that. Mostly because if I'm shittered, I can't expect to get much more done than vegging out, consuming anything within arms reach, and slurring out nonsensical ramblings.

Nancy Beck said...

Glad to be of service, Sean. :-)

Demon Daughter

Vernon Baker said...

Hey, Joe. We're both at #2 on the Amazon action/adventure bestseller list. Can I trade columns with you for a couple of days?

Anonymous said...

Hi friend, please, stop with this diet.

The goal is to be more healthy. Replacing food for beer you will not be more healthy for sure. Maybe less heavy, but this is irrelevant.

You don't need to stop eating and you don't need to stop drinking your lovely beer. What you need to do is to learn how to eat.

Several small meals are better than a few big meals. Drink more water and try to walk at least 30 minutes three times per week.

I like you, that's why I'm telling this. I want to read your future books, so please, stay alive!

Don't play with your health.

Take care.

Katiero, from Brazil, out.

Kiara said...

You do realize that by the time 30 days is up your sexercise will be reduced down to zero mins. lol

Sharper13x said...

@Hunter - "Others might disagree, and please, say so if you do. But I have to do what I believe is right for me and my particular situation."

It seems to be different for everybody, but for what it's worth, I disagree.

As Joe has preached all along, having a lot of titles really helps. I've only got one at the moment. It's been up since October. Sales = 16 in oct., 10 in nov., 3 for december by the 10th on that month... but since going with Select on the 10th of Dec, it's sold around 500-600 copies and lent out a little over half that.

Reading these posts and on the Kindle Boards, it clearly doesn't work for everybody, but it definitely does for some (Patrice's book is #1 on my "customers also bought" page).

For me, I always felt it was about visibility, or lack there of. I've got compelling ad copy and a compelling story... but no one was seeing the product page. I did an experiment with going free on the 10th and 11th. Sales jumped the next week and I hit several top 100 lists in the paid store. Sales rose and fell in a clear bell curve for about a week or so. Then I went free for one day on Dec 23rd (trying to time the bell curve for the 25th and 26th). Did about 5k downloads (right in the middle of most of the anecdotal numbers I've read), the book got pretty deeply into those "also bought" lists and then started selling.

If you only have one book so far, your main obstacle is going to be visibility. Select has been a solution to that for me.

note - the algorithm advantage from a rush of free downloads seems to have peaks and valleys. After the initial rush that sent KX into the top 800 paid books, it's drifted back down. Selling about 10 a day for the last week or so. But the point is... it's selling. People can see it. Meanwhile, work goes on for the next books.

Just thought adding a little more info might help. Good luck.

Patrice said...

@Stephen: I keep seeing your book on my page! I've been wondering who this Harper guy is (I have a sister-in-law with that last name, but she divorced him... I trust you're not related.) ;-}

@Joe: You sure have gotten a lot of folks stirred up here! (Stirred, not shaken.) Your fans are worried about you, guy... hey, was that your plan all along? They're praying for you! You're a master at getting people all riled up.

But do take care of yourself. And as to that wacky Walter Knight whose Aunt Marge was eaten by an iguana... I think he's been trying your beer diet.

Sharper13x said...

@Patrice. Nice to meet you! And no, I was never married to your sister-in-law :) (wouldn't that make me your brother?) Congratulations on Running!

@Joe... I agree with Patrice. Take care of yourself.

You realize of course that Trappists monks from the 1600's didn't keep detailed records on the health effects of their diet. Also had some pretty bad teeth, I'd imagine. Can you at least supplement with vitamins? Is there vitamin C in beer?

You can also lose weight by emulating the diet of sailors from the 1600's (also heavily weighted with alcohol). But I'd hate for you to get Rickets.

Unknown said...

Joe, have you seen Super HIgh Me? You should be filming your "diet." Good luck.

I look forward to seeing your thought on KDP Select. I've only heard from the detractors lately. Also, do you have thought on B&N selling the Nook business? Do you think it'll have a large affect on self-publishing?

Sam said...

There's a surprising interview with the CEO of B&N up on CNBC today:

They're floating the idea of selling off the Nook business (click on the video).

Sally Clements said...

Joe, what are your thoughts on going free with kdp select a second/third time when you're up in the rankings? my book Bound to Love did well on giveaways (19,000 in 2 days) and has sold great since, but is now drifting down in rank. I'm scared to give it free again in case it doesn't come back up to current rank, but sails off into the sunset. Any thoughts?

Unknown said...

As a fellow beer lover, I am fascinated with your unique diet. As a newly published author, full-time teacher, and mother of one rambunctious 11 year old, I find the thought of subsisting on nothing but the good liquid quite daunting. Good luck with your diet and congrats on your recent good fortune. I'm not certain I have the guts to go the route you did, but it's an inspirational dream:)

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for sharing that... Way to go Sir... xxx