Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Summer 2008 Newsletter

Straight Up - The Official Newsletter of Author J.A. Konrath #8

In this issue:
--Book Launch Party
--The Fuzzy Navel Tour
--Reviewer Contest
--Free E-Books
--Speaking Engagements
--Recent News
--Jack Daniels Movie Update


You're on this mailing list because you love books. I love them too. This email is my way of reaching out to readers, librarians, bookstore employees, and fellow authors, and giving you free stuff. If you want to be taken off this list you can opt out using the link at the bottom. If you've asked to be removed from this newsletter and haven't been, I apologize. If you've signed up for this newsletter and haven't received it, you probably aren't reading this, but I apologize anyway.

My fifth Lt. Jacqueline "Jack" Daniels thriller novel, FUZZY NAVEL, will be released in hardcover and on audio CD and MP3 on July 8th. The first four novels in the series, WHISKEY SOUR, BLOODY MARY, RUSTY NAIL, and DIRTY MARTINI, are currently available in paperback, hardcover, and on audio. They'll make you laugh, and then scare your socks off. Please head to your favorite bookstore and buy eleven copies of each for yourself and everyone you know.

Now let's get to the fun stuff:


I love book parties, especially those that take place in snazzy venues where the food and liquor are free and there are plenty of cool people to talk to.

I'm not having one this year.

However, on the launch date for Fuzzy Navel, July 8th, you're all invited to my CEREBRAL BOOK LAUNCH PARTY!

Instead of a brick and mortar restaurant with an open bar, this party takes place entirely in my mind. There will be celebrities, big surprises, and everyone who attends will win $300 and a Toyota Prius. It's going on from 7pm-9pm, in my head. Please RSVP via telepathy. I hope to see you all there.

Then, after the party, go to a real store and buy my book.


I'll be visiting stores in Illinois, Wisconsin, Indiana, and Michigan. Keep an eye on for when and where.


I love being reviewed, whether it's in a newspaper, a newsletter, a listserv, on a website, a blog, MySpace, a bulletin board, an online review site, a bookstore site, etc. People who wrote reviews of DIRTY MARTINI were thanked in the acknowledgements of FUZZY NAVEL. I'm doing the same thing for this book.

Write a review of FUZZY NAVEL and put it someplace where people can read it, and you'll be thanked in the acknowledgments of CHERRY BOMB, coming out next year. Simple as that. Email me a link to your review (if you've already reviewed it, please send me the link again) and you'll be entered in a contest.

Ten lucky winners, drawn at random, will receive free signed stuff. You'll have a choice of any of my previous or future books or anthologies.

One very lucky grand prize winner will get dinner. Yes, I'll actually buy you dinner. Drinks too. The only downside is that I'll be there with you.

So if you want free books, or you want to have me all to yourself for a few hours while I ply you with fine food and drink, then please review Fuzzy Navel.

Oh, and each different place you post the review online counts as a separate contest entry. So if you write one review and post it on your blog, your MySpace page, your Facebook page,,,,,,,, and Yahoo Groups, then that's 11 entries, and 11 chances to win. How badly do you want to eat with me?


Haven't read any of my books yet? Now you can, for free. I have several full length novels and several dozen short stories available as free downloads on Check them out, and keep an eye out for my new website design coming in July.


Are we MySpace Best Friends Forever yet? Visit my page at and join my 15,000 other BFFs, each of whom I know by name and stay in constant touch with because they are so very dear to me. I also have a Facebook page, and you can befriend me there as well. Though, in all honesty, the best way to befriend me is by seeing me at a writing conference and handing me a beer.


Are you affiliated with a library, book club, writing group, university, book fair, conference, or convention and would love to have me come speak? Of course you would. And I would love to come. Email me with a request and we can discuss my outrageous fees and unreasonable demands.


Harry McGlade, Jack's ex-partner, is the star of two novellas. The first, SUCKERS, is co-written with cult horror author Jeff Strand. Jeff's series character Andrew Mayhem (star of three hilariously gruesome books) teams up with Harry, and the jokes fly fast and furious. It's limited to 300 hardcover copies, and a really funny book. Get it before it's gone forever.

Harry is also in LIKE A CHINESE TATTOO, an anthology edited by Bill Breedlove. This story, called THE NECRO FILE, is officially the silliest thing I've ever written. Both of these books are available at If you're a JA Konrath completist, a Harry McGlade fan, or just want to blow some money on stupid stuff, I encourage you to buy copies of each. But a warning: These aren't for the faint of heart.

I had the pleasure of collaborating with F. Paul Wilson on a story in the upcoming anthology BLOOD LITE, edited by Kevin J. Anderson. Look for it at bookstores everywhere this October.

DIRTY MARTINI was nominated for a Barry Award for best novel.

I wrote a funny werewolf novella for the anthology WOLFSBANE AND MISTLETOE, edited by Charlaine Harris and Toni L.P. Kelner. It's being released in October.

For those of you keeping tabs on what I eat for breakfast, this morning it was Frosted Mini Wheats. Yesterday, eggs and bacon. The day before, Mini Wheats. Tomorrow, I'm planning on Mini Wheats if any are left. If not, fried bologna.

I've collaborated with author Henry Perez on a novella featuring Jack Daniels and his character Alex Chapa (the main character from his upcoming thriller KILLING RED). The story, written for charity, is slated to appear in the upcoming Echelon Press release MISSING, which will debut at Bouchercon in Baltimore.

My blog, A NEWBIE'S GUIDE TO PUBLISHING ( was named one of the Top 101 Websites For Writers by Writer's Digest magazine. is being overhauled with a new look and easier navigation, hopefully by the end of July. It will also include a message board, since I know all of my fans want to be able to interact with each other. All three of you. Expect another email from me when the website relaunches.

The biggest news of all came in the form of an email. Apparently a Nigerian prince has named me as an heir, and is going to deposit 16 million dollars into my bank account as soon as I send him the routing number. I plan on using the money to buy Nebraska, which I'll rename Joebraska and then have a rave party in the largest city, Joemaha. You're all invited.


I've written a book under a pseudonym. It's called AFRAID, and I'm using the pen name Jack Kilborn. It will be available this year in Australia and Great Britain, and next year in the US. I tried my best to create the scariest novel of all time, and by early accounts I've succeeded. The website is coming soon.


Nothing to update, because no one has bought the rights. But if you've got fifty bucks, or even a case of good beer, call me and we'll talk.


Free stuff is cool. A few times a year I have a random drawing for free J.A. Konrath merchandise, and everyone on my mailing list is eligible. Five newsletter subscribers have been randomly picked to receive some cool gifts.

The lucky winners this time are:

Email me to get your swag.

Thanks very much (your name here) for reading this far. Keep an eye on for updates and news. See you on the road!


Chris said...

I keep trying to RSVP via telepathy, but all I get is a busy signal.

Jude Hardin said...

I have to admit, I've been wondering what the hell is Joe Konrath having for breakfast these days?

Try to avoid the fried balogna, man. You know what they put in that stuff?

Great newsletter, Joe! Will the foriegn editions of Afraid be available on Amazon? I'm very anxious to get my hands on a copy.

Kat said...

Can't wait to read the new book! I hope you got my RSVP as well I left it on your imaginary voice mail.

Anonymous said...

Konrath, who has "performed improvisational comedy" according to his bio, likes to toss off one-liners, and while they're occasionally clever, they lend a jokey tone that jars with the seriousness of the almost gratuitously horrific crimes. Reading like an ill-conceived cross between Carl Hiaasen and Thomas Harris, this cliché-ridden first novel should find a wide audience among less discriminating suspense fans.

Personally, when someone prints a review like this, it tells me more about the reviewer than the book.

Wheatie Beau Campbell said...

Joe. When are you going to make it to Orlando? Your books are awesome.

Anonymous said...

You should come up to Boston. It's a shame, I'll be in Louisville Kentucky tomorrow for a council of the blind convention. I don't know when you're touring but I bet it won't be between July 3 and the 13. I wish I could meet you, you seem very willing to do anything within reason asked of you, I think it's wonderful. great newsletter, glad to be a part of your growing fanbase.

WayneThomasBatson said...

Hi, Joe

I'm stoked for your new book release. I'll be getting a copy of Fuzzy Navel. But question:

If we want you to have a nice low Amazon sales number, do we preorder it whenever, or do we Blitz Amazon with purchases on the release day?

In other words when is the best time to buy to get Fuzzy Navel high on Amazon's bestseller list?

I'd also like to know because I have a book coming out in Sept. ;-)

Gabrielle said...

Hey J.A.-

Did you mean Summer 2008 newsletter? Because otherwise I'm scared I'm in a twisty time warp where "Fuzzy Navel" is coming out two years ago and I'll have to travel back in time to join the cerebral red carpet book release party... and I don't handle time travel well.

Anonymous said...

I too have been getting a busy signal when trying to RSVP. BUt I cannot imagine that you would think I would miss it.

Hope you didn't blow up anything on the 4th...I kept an eye on the news.

Karen Syed

Anonymous said...

And what year is this?

Jessica Burkhart said...

So I'm not the only Nigerian heir?!

Anonymous said...

I have read Fuzzy Navel I have to say it is your best work so far. Yes, leaving us hanging at the end was a little cruel, but I understand it only makes us want more Jack Daniels.