Saturday, December 02, 2006

Neurotic Author Moment

It's true. It's all true. And I'll validate it for you.

You have no talent.

You're never going to succeed.

Your agent isn't doing shit for you, and you won't find anyone better.

You can't make a living at this.

You're not a real writer.

Your publisher isn't behind you.

Your work-in-progress stinks.

Your peers don't respect you.

The bad reviews are true.

Everyone is doing better than you are.

You're fooling yourself.

You'll never get another contract.

The whole world knows you suck.

Your last book was better.

No one else struggles.

You need to quit, because you don't have what it takes.


You done? Got that out of your system? Good.

Now quit being a whiny little baby and go write.


  1. Anonymous10:34 AM

    How'd you get into my head?

  2. Anonymous10:36 AM

    Hey Joe, you don't need to deal with this all by yourself. I've got a whole blog dedicated to it.

    101 Reasons to Stop Writing
    Discouraging Writers Since Late October

    Sean Lindsay
    (anon. due to Blogger bug)

  3. Oh, I was wondering who that was on my shoulder. It's you!

  4. Anonymous2:27 PM

    You forgot:

    Don't quit your day job, you're going to need it.

  5. Anonymous3:38 PM

    l.c. mccabe:


  6. Anonymous4:04 PM





    PS - Did you get the worthless drivel I sent? LOL

  7. Anonymous4:04 PM


    This is why I read your blog. ;)

  8. When I first started reading this I wanted to slap you!
    Then at the end I just wanted to slap myself...
    Now, I think I'll go write.

  9. Anonymous7:41 PM

    Reply to Ahh Nonnie Mouse who suggested I check out Joe's Literary Agency's blog:

    Yes, I had. Already in fact. And I replied to Michael Bouret as well. My comment is currently the last one on the list.

    The rejoinder of keeping one's day job is generally thought of for those who play in rock bands or act. Writing is different, but it still is a creative and artistic medium whether you write fiction or nonfiction and so the advice still holds true.

    There are very few people in my writers club that have been able to meet all their financial means by writing. Some of our members are retired and they have a little more time for their craft without the same worries us younger folks have.

    What I found refreshing from Michael's column was the recognition that not all authors are able to dedicate all of their time to the craft of writing. (Or have spouses that financially support them so they can write full time.)

  10. Thanks man. Needed that. :)

  11. With Kristin B.
    You are in my head.

  12. Anonymous7:58 AM

    am i that much of a cliche?

  13. You bastard! I'll show you! I'll show you ALL!!!

  14. Hey, jeff Strand finally has a blogger account!

    Strand is one of my favorite authors. Like me, he writes funny and scary.

    Everyone link to him, because I said so.

    Speaking of links, I need to update mine. If I don't link to your blog, but you hang out here a lot, email me so I can correct that.

  15. Anonymous1:56 PM

    I've had all these and more. Here's another negative voice that lurks when I've exhausted all the others: "Do you think anyone actually wants to read your pathetic little story?"

  16. Anonymous8:45 PM

    I couldn't decide which topic to post on: this "Stop whining and write" or the "101 distractions from your writing." Amazing how this finds me and hits me between the eyes.

    I started writing tonight at 8:30. Now it's 9:40, and I haven't written anything but a few emails and this blog. I have a Dec. 31st deadline for Isle of Swords, and I'm still 125 pages short of where I need to be.

    I don't get it, Joe, what is it internally that resents the work aspect of writing? Funny in a screwed up kind of way. Okay, I'm gone. Captain Declan Ross beckons from the deck of The William Wallace.


  17. Anonymous9:40 AM

    I really enjoy reading your blog. It's lovely and I highly recommend it to all writers worldwide :-) And that neurotic moment you talked about... How did you know? :)


Thanks for the comment! Joe will get back to you eventually. :)