I'm in California, at the sixth annual Men of Mystery Convention. Like all good conferences, it was both productive and fun. Besides getting to meet readers, I hung out with fellow scribes Barry Eisler, James Rollins, Sean Doolittle, Dylan Schaffer, Jeff Shelby, Lee Goldberg, Tod Goldberg, and many others.
MoM is a 60 table banquet lunch with over 500 guests. Each author gets his own table (except for Shelby, who had to share with another author) and 90 seconds to stand up and address the entire room.
Some writers, sadly, are much better writers than talkers. Those I listed above don't have that problem (buy their books), and the conference quickly became a game of 'who can get the biggest laughs.' And there were some big ones. My favorite was Lee, waxing philosophically about his recent proctological exam, and possibly turing that into a mystery series. I offered to co-write, and proposed four titles:
MURDER IN AN UNHAPPY PLACE
IT ONLY HURTS IN THE END
HEY, WHERE'S MY WRISTWATCH?
HE STOLE MY CARS, THEN WRECKED 'EM
Laughs translated into sales. I sold out of paperbacks, and moved quite a few hardcovers. Those who spoke poorly, sold poorly.
Message from Joe: Learn to Speak in Public. Now.
There's a lot of buzz circulating about Dean Koontz's speech, and how he offended many attendees. Personally, I didn't find the remarks offensive---Koontz was purposely trying to be humorously insulting, in order to get a certain Japanese CEO to drop his name from a movie title. His goal was to dishonor the guy. The problem was in the set-up and the execution. Koontz just wasn't very funny. George Carlin is a lot more offensive, but gets away with it because he's funny.
Had Koontz spent more time showing he was the underdog, and established that he wasn't racist and did all of this to right an injustice (rather than because he simply wanted his way, which is how he came off), I think the story would have gone over a little better.
Or perhaps Mr. Koontz should simply retire this particular anecdote.
Of course, when you sell 300 million books, chances are you don't care too much about the opinions of your peers. In fact, I've only sold 100k books and I don't care too much about the opinions of my peers either. But, while I'm often inappropriate in public, I'm never hateful. Many thought Dean was.
Which brings up an interesting point. If you're going to talk in public, be aware that you might not get the reaction you expect. Whether that dictates what you say or don't say is up to you. Just be prepared to face public opinion when you're finished speaking.
Conferences are essential for writers, and at conferences you'll be asked to speak. Unlike signings, where you'll meet a few dozen readers, you can meet hundreds at a con. You don't want to turn readers against you.
Next weekend, I'll be with Dave Ellis, Blake Crouch, Melanie Lynne Hauser, Libby Fischer Hellmann, Gregg Hurwitz (who I just saw at MoM) and others, at Murder and Mayhem in Muskego.
Coming up next year is Love is Murder in Chicago February 3-4, Sleuthfest in Florida March 3-6, and the first annual Thrillerfest, June 29-July 2 in Arizona.
Thrillerfest is put on by the International Thriller Writers, and this con is quickly getting some very big names to attend. Get your tickets now, while they're still available.
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14 comments:
Koontz tells this story in the afterward to one of the paperback editions of HIDEAWAY.
While I can see that some might be offended by this, I think they're being oversensitive. Koontz is deliberately trying to be provocative in order to get a reaction out of the guy he's writing to. The joke is that no matter WHAT he says to the guy, he never gets a response.
"Koontz is deliberately trying to be provocative in order to get a reaction out of the guy he's writing to. The joke is that no matter WHAT he says to the guy, he never gets a response."
I agree -- except Koontz wasn't trying to be provocative, he was actively trying to offend the exec. I don't blame the guy for not responding. I wouldn't either if I was in his position. It was a business dispute...and Dean approached it by trying to offend the guy with racially insensitive comments? Sounds childish, insensitive and boorish to me. And not funny.
Certainly does sound delibeately offensive. And I say this as an actr who got hosed by a Japanese producer on a Honda commercial once but I never even considered a racialy based tactic. I called the union and I eventually got paid. Shysters come in all colors and shapes.
"Kind of like one of the authors at Boucheron this year."
Were you at Bouchercon this year, dearheart? Or do you form all of your opinions based on hearsay?
Perhaps you should be working on that book rather than playing on the blogs with all the professional writers.
I was joking too Nick. Didn't you notice my tongue, firmly implanted in my cheek? ;)
As I said in the blog, be careful what you say, because it may not get the reaction you expect. It happens to the best of us. Your comment was a perfect example to prove my point.
What if I'd said something nasty, rather than playful? Something really cruel and below the belt?
Expect for it to happen someday, after you've landed a publishing deal. The higher you climb, the more people who want to take you down a peg.
And I know you would have been cheering me on. I had 100+ people cheering me on.
It was the five or six assholes who made all the noise afterward.
In Mr. Koontz's case, he had 400+ who laughed, and maybe 20 who were offended. But the 20 took it upon themselves to spread the word. Within two days it was on DorothyL, several blogs, and in a chain email, reaching 1000s.
Being a public figure kinda sucks.
"I agree -- except Koontz wasn't trying to be provocative, he was actively trying to offend the exec. I don't blame the guy for not responding. I wouldn't either if I was in his position."
Well, it's been awhile since I read the piece in HIDEAWAY, but as I recall, Koontz started out by being civil and with each successive letter purposely became more and more offensive.
Oddly enough, I don't remember his comments being all that offensive -- and I'm usually very sensitive about these things since my wife is Japanese-American.
The public speaking thing is just impossible for some folks. I have spoken at ALA, BEA and dozens of local workshops on teen literature in the last several years and there are still many times when I get extremely nervous or even ill before starting a presentation. I think if I ever get published I will hire a stunt double...
I just looked up the word "funny" in the dictionary. (no kidding)
It actually says "See also Konrath, J.A."
True story.
Those who spoke poorly, sold poorly.
Message from Joe: Learn to Speak in Public. Now.
ouch. i gave up on public speaking because i'm so bad at it. i decided it was hurting rather than helping. and it would take years for me to become mediocre at it.
FYI: i'm going to thriller fest and am now taking applications for stunt speakers.
Your fear of public speaking hasn't seemed to hurt your career Anne (note to all: read HUSH by Anne Fraiser)
I'm trying to moderate a panel called "Sex, Violence, and Bad Language--Taken to Extremes" at Thrillerfest. Let me know if you'd like to be on it.
Be warned though--according to some, I'm a loud mouth attention hog. But I promise I'll go easy on you. :)
this could really work to my advantage. kind of a penn and teller thing. or i could just sit there very deadpan and occasionally hiccup out the word f**k.
I would pay large stacks of money in Amercian currency to see you hiccup out the word f**k
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