tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post680666761352819294..comments2024-03-28T02:00:11.260-05:00Comments on A Newbie's Guide to Publishing: Bad StoriesJA Konrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-77902804336371712922013-02-15T18:08:14.972-06:002013-02-15T18:08:14.972-06:00The last line is probably the best I've read i...The last line is probably the best I've read in any short story ever, I really enjoyed it.Jonathan-Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11282408223758612187noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-88383239723174165842011-01-02T16:11:40.130-06:002011-01-02T16:11:40.130-06:00"The Golden Scorpion" by Sax Rohmer star..."The Golden Scorpion" by Sax Rohmer starts with the main character waking up, covered in perspiration. I really like your blog. I've learned a lot.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05758140165550590599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-81886714060546392212009-11-13T22:20:00.860-06:002009-11-13T22:20:00.860-06:00I can't even list all the things I didn't ...I can't even list all the things I didn't like. It was just... a bad story.<br /><br />But, two things I'll point out: Cliches and repetitiveness. They just shouldn't happen in a story. Unless you make humor out of redundancy, but SPARINGLY.<br /><br />I wonder if I should rewrite the story to make it good, or if that would destroy the point of this how-not-to?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-91853985601209888312009-07-18T19:13:46.892-05:002009-07-18T19:13:46.892-05:00What is(was) his wife's name? Is it Rhoda is i...What is(was) his wife's name? Is it Rhoda is it Rhonda? A rose by any other name would stink as badly!!!!! Lots-o-exclamation points to topple that offt !!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-11317264821296733612009-07-08T23:19:41.322-05:002009-07-08T23:19:41.322-05:00This is so funny. My 9-year-old son writes better ...This is so funny. My 9-year-old son writes better than this. He could use some work, I know, but, uh, he's NINE.<br />http://www.enrichedwithvitamins.com He even came up with that blog domain himself. Cute, I thought. <br /><br />Thanks for this blog.Natashahttp://www.becomingsomething.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-9233251857898555352009-07-06T01:24:46.342-05:002009-07-06T01:24:46.342-05:00Oh dear lord.
The whole story was just terrible, ...Oh dear lord.<br /><br />The whole story was just terrible, but that last sentence was amazing.<br /><br />Pneumonia AND cancer. Oh god. He didn't even transition into that.<br /><br />Oh sweet Jesus, I laughed.Kylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04024055453300275449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-41372513859848898592009-07-05T11:10:49.876-05:002009-07-05T11:10:49.876-05:00Jesus Christ! After the first 3 lines indicating h...Jesus Christ! After the first 3 lines indicating how sunny it was, I was numb! Could not handle the rest!astrydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15110951226751016654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-4132337907126237022008-11-13T06:13:00.000-06:002008-11-13T06:13:00.000-06:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-724082191498435782008-04-21T10:25:00.000-05:002008-04-21T10:25:00.000-05:00I've been afraid to write beyond my drafted plot b...I've been afraid to write beyond my drafted plot because I'll probably make many beginner mistakes. But thanks to this post, I'm not as afraid to enter contests.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-70038734155505074252008-03-15T18:14:00.000-05:002008-03-15T18:14:00.000-05:0099% of the time, the writer should use 'said' for ...99% of the time, the writer should use 'said' for dialog tags. Also, the speakers are doing impossible things AS they are speaking, such as laughing loudly, or frowning widely...I think you get the point. If something is physically not possible, don't have a character doing it.<BR/>I didn't read it all. Too much crap like this in on the internet already.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for doing this.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01369589135402245635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-44460902217210444832008-03-15T18:12:00.000-05:002008-03-15T18:12:00.000-05:0099% of the time, the writer should use 'said' for ...99% of the time, the writer should use 'said' for dialog tags. Also, the speakers are doing impossible things AS they are speaking, such as laughing loudly, or frowning widely...I think you get the point. If something is physically not possible, don't have a character doing it.<BR/>I didn't read it all. Too much crap like this in on the internet already.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for doing this.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01369589135402245635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-69754513575921961492008-01-10T17:54:00.000-06:002008-01-10T17:54:00.000-06:00Actually, rather than list all the problems, I go ...Actually, rather than list all the problems, I go by my instinctive desire to reach for something sharp to slit my wrists. <BR/><BR/>Right now I'm eyes the butcher knife.Jana Oliverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00603652346290427856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-53310999939716336992008-01-10T03:29:00.000-06:002008-01-10T03:29:00.000-06:00I hear you, J.A., about the above comment.It's als...I hear you, J.A., about the above comment.<BR/><BR/>It's also pretty funny if you picture Jesus on some distant world, leaning on a bar, and saying exactly the same thing.Steve MChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15026970188928733645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-81547257283982848282008-01-08T06:24:00.000-06:002008-01-08T06:24:00.000-06:00Laura, I do my damnedess not to volunteer for anyt...Laura, I do my damnedess not to volunteer for anything. Been there, done that, and learned (as all others have learned) that no good deed goes unpunished.<BR/><BR/>I've blogged about volunteering before. In rare cases, you can learn something from the experience on a professional level. But most of the time, what you're learning is that your efforts are unappreciated at best, reviled at worst, and that you've devoted hours/days/weeks to something that has done absolutely zero for you.<BR/><BR/>Cynical, maybe. But I came upon my cynicism fairly.<BR/><BR/>In short, it will be a very rare day you find me doing something both selfless and for free.JA Konrathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-13468639387958373822008-01-07T16:51:00.000-06:002008-01-07T16:51:00.000-06:00Egads...well, there goes another keyboard lost to ...Egads...well, there goes another keyboard lost to soda spew! <BR/><BR/>I currently have a manuscript out for a contest (NOT this one--it's a novel contest, not a short story one), and I don't know how to thank the judges enough because I know they must see some truly frightening work. And I don't mean that in a good way.<BR/><BR/>So I have to ask (as I did fairly recently <A HREF="http://www.womenofmystery.net/2007/12/on-being-good-citizenmember.html" REL="nofollow">on the Women of Mystery blog</A>), what prompts you to volunteer your time for such a thing? <BR/><BR/>I haven't come up with much in terms of motivation for my own various volunteer positions except that "helping makes me feel good" or "someone has to do it, and I have the time," neither of which I'd accept as character motivation in my own book. Human beings are so damned complicated. Sheesh.Laura K. Curtishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08444534759113332744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-2800266326644395622008-01-07T15:31:00.000-06:002008-01-07T15:31:00.000-06:00LOL! I'm hooked.And Cowgirl Kate said, "Hey, Bob, ...LOL! I'm hooked.<BR/><BR/>And Cowgirl Kate said, "Hey, Bob, is that a bottle of Visine in your pocket or you just happy to see me?"Jude Hardinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09994813046526310594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-61330007973741949082008-01-07T11:54:00.000-06:002008-01-07T11:54:00.000-06:00Starting with weather is ultimately subjective, an...Starting with weather is ultimately subjective, and all rules can be broken.<BR/><BR/>But, as a judge, I will almost universally pass on stories that begin with:<BR/><BR/>"It was a sweltering July day at noon."<BR/><BR/>But if the story began:<BR/><BR/>"The sweltering July sun sucked the moisture of of Cowboy Bob's lidless eyes." then I would keep reading.JA Konrathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-78205754153861258942008-01-07T09:32:00.000-06:002008-01-07T09:32:00.000-06:00I think it's okay to start with weather, Joe.As lo...I think it's okay to start with weather, Joe.<BR/><BR/>As long as it's damn BAD weather that augments the conflict, and as long as your name is Ray Bradbury or Dean Koontz. ;)Jude Hardinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09994813046526310594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-25753354682674250312008-01-06T22:49:00.000-06:002008-01-06T22:49:00.000-06:00I didn't get past the ...........well, first few l...I didn't get past the ...........well, first few lines. That's my writing....a good long time ago and no, I won't say when so I don't embarrass anyone who writes like that.<BR/><BR/>It's a lesson. And everyone is putting themselves out there...and learning...some of us had the benefit of critique classes, as painful as they are.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Kudos to you for judging... I love judging contests :)Stacia Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06041665903048254553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-87077872639958541272008-01-06T20:57:00.000-06:002008-01-06T20:57:00.000-06:00I'm packing a gun and a shovel and putting 8786 Cr...I'm packing a gun and a shovel and putting 8786 Cranberry Rd. into MapQuest.<BR/><BR/>Great post, Joe!Nick Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951621700075682249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-57627583207468111882008-01-06T18:20:00.000-06:002008-01-06T18:20:00.000-06:00Stories are about conflict. Unless your story is a...Stories are about conflict. Unless your story is about a tornado, it's better to open with a hook.<BR/><BR/>Hooks involve characters and goals, not what day of the week it is, how the sun is shining, or which season we're in.<BR/><BR/>Setting your scene should be part of the story, not separate from it. Reveal what is needed, in a place where it isn't boring or distracting.<BR/><BR/>The first line, and the first paragraph, is where you're trying to hook the reader, and not a place for description that 99.9% of the time isn't necessary.JA Konrathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-28730267316244341462008-01-06T15:17:00.000-06:002008-01-06T15:17:00.000-06:00Aside from Joe’s bad story, what’s the problem wit...Aside from Joe’s bad story, what’s the problem with weather in the opening?NL Gasserthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11601313602009358600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-16016942489609700392008-01-05T17:32:00.000-06:002008-01-05T17:32:00.000-06:00The fingernails on the chalkboard for me are the e...The fingernails on the chalkboard for me are the exclamation points. As Fitzgerald put it, “Cut out all those exclamation marks. An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own joke.”<BR/><BR/>I think it was also Fitzgerald who said that outside of dialogue, you're allowed to use only five exclamation points during your entire writing career. That's not a bad rule of thumb! Damn, I'm down to four! No, three! Argh!Steve MChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15026970188928733645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-63716182267207671802008-01-05T10:06:00.000-06:002008-01-05T10:06:00.000-06:00Info dump, useless information, too many !!!!Now, ...Info dump, useless information, too many !!!!<BR/>Now, what the heck was the story about anyway??? <BR/>Ouch! My eyes! My eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!Aimlesswriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03012050763172251381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-41684497240169870882008-01-04T20:32:00.000-06:002008-01-04T20:32:00.000-06:00Here are some of the things that make my story bad...Here are some of the things that make my story bad:<BR/><BR/>Starting with dialogue<BR/>Protag a writer<BR/>Run-ons<BR/>Word and phrase repetition<BR/>Abundance of <I>Then…</I><BR/>Onomatopoeia<BR/>Multiple clichés<BR/>POV shift<BR/>Exclamation points<BR/>Deus ex machina (the magic beans)<BR/>“Just a dream”<BR/>Author intrusion<BR/><BR/>Together, I think we covered most of the mistakes beginning writers make, Joe.<BR/><BR/>Your list is longer than mine, but if I’d had more time I could have done worse. :)Jude Hardinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09994813046526310594noreply@blogger.com