tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post113147223017946356..comments2024-03-28T02:00:11.260-05:00Comments on A Newbie's Guide to Publishing: Cleaning HouseJA Konrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131717348630165182005-11-11T07:55:00.000-06:002005-11-11T07:55:00.000-06:00I link to your blog--if you'd like to return the l...I link to your blog--if you'd like to return the link:<BR/><BR/>writtenbetweensundays.blogspot.com<BR/><BR/>Thanks : )Robin Baynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02640632701164428942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131626623419958152005-11-10T06:43:00.000-06:002005-11-10T06:43:00.000-06:00Just a comment about Nicholas' opening lines--none...Just a comment about Nicholas' opening lines--none of them were bad. And much depends on what you follow up on it with. Does your character immediately roll to the floor, searching for the shotgun under the bed? Did his lover standing naked in the doorway take the bullets? Was her husband the one shooting through the window? Is he explaining the events to a reporter, a cop, a scriptwriter, a movie producer, his cat? <BR/><BR/>What's the tone? Seems flip. Maybe it works. Follow it with, But it's better than a bomb. I hate that when that happens.<BR/><BR/>Best,<BR/>Mark TerryAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131586435906319942005-11-09T19:33:00.000-06:002005-11-09T19:33:00.000-06:00Oh well. It WAS a dark and stormy night.Nicholas, ...<I>Oh well. It WAS a dark and stormy night.</I><BR/><BR/>Nicholas, LOL! Seriously, though, your last rewrite is loads better. Go with something like that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131573030480390022005-11-09T15:50:00.000-06:002005-11-09T15:50:00.000-06:00"Gunfire and splintering glass make an awfully rud..."Gunfire and splintering glass make an awfully rude alarm clock."<BR/><BR/>That's passive. Where's the action in that sentence? The subject is the alarm clock.JA Konrathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131572618091225642005-11-09T15:43:00.000-06:002005-11-09T15:43:00.000-06:00"Gunfire and splintering glass make an awfully rud..."Gunfire and splintering glass make an awfully rude alarm clock."<BR/><BR/>I would generally recommend something a little more active than observational. But I like the idea of a short, punchy sentence. You don't want to get too wordy or prolix when you're discussing flying bulletg and shattering glass.<BR/><BR/>I think this is a good discussion because the first sentence (and the first paragraph, and the first page) of a novel is extremely important. I've heard from a lot of authors who prefer to believe this isn't true, but I disagree strongly.<BR/><BR/>A good first sentence draws you in. A bad one turns you away. It's as simple as that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131559924011688962005-11-09T12:12:00.000-06:002005-11-09T12:12:00.000-06:00How about:I was sleeping just fine until gunfire b...How about:<BR/><BR/>I was sleeping just fine until gunfire blasted through my window, covering me with shards of glass.<BR/><BR/>Or:<BR/><BR/>When my window exploded, my first reaction was to sit up in bed. But since it was bullets that shattered the glass, I promptly laid back down, which was far better than having my head blown off.<BR/><BR/>Or:<BR/>Gunfire was my alarm clock.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131559510993297872005-11-09T12:05:00.000-06:002005-11-09T12:05:00.000-06:00Also, try not to immitate the masters when you wri...Also, try not to immitate the masters when you write. Bradbury is wonderful, but he began in this business when times were different, and his stardom has given him a certain autonomy.<BR/><BR/>If you want to understand current buying trends in the publishing biz, read new books by first-time authors. They are what editors are buying.JA Konrathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131559384442256442005-11-09T12:03:00.000-06:002005-11-09T12:03:00.000-06:00"Nothing puts me in a bad mood quicker than being ..."Nothing puts me in a bad mood quicker than being stirred from a peaceful sleep by the sounds of gunfire and shattering glass."<BR/><BR/>That's servicable, but it's telling rather than showing.<BR/><BR/>"The gunfire woke me up." is showing. <BR/><BR/>It's more immediate, less removed. If you wanted to keep the tone, it could be:<BR/><BR/>"I woke up in a bad mood, which probably had something to do with the glass covering my bed and the bullets flying in through the broken window."<BR/><BR/>Or whatever. <BR/><BR/>Show, don't tell.JA Konrathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131552331319555212005-11-09T10:05:00.000-06:002005-11-09T10:05:00.000-06:00I've always said you just need to start your story...I've always said you just need to start your story with a character in motion. That will, more often than not, keep your readers reading. <BR/><BR/>As they say in the screenwriting world, enter a scene after the beginning and leave it before the end.Rob Gregory Brownehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11952008139132652259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131549381001230252005-11-09T09:16:00.000-06:002005-11-09T09:16:00.000-06:00Joe,Thanks for the blurb advice you gave over on 0...Joe,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the blurb advice you gave over on 007's blog. I'd always been adverse to seeking blurbs for my future bestseller (hee hee), but her post convinced me to pursue them. Your comments told me HOW to pursue them, and I thank you for that.<BR/><BR/>MarkAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131548015365728162005-11-09T08:53:00.000-06:002005-11-09T08:53:00.000-06:00Is you story about weather? Then start with weathe...Is you story about weather? Then start with weather.<BR/><BR/>Is it about characters, aciton, and conflict? Then start with that.JA Konrathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131541370707776422005-11-09T07:02:00.000-06:002005-11-09T07:02:00.000-06:00Ray Bradbury actually starts his latest effort wit...<I>Ray Bradbury actually starts his latest effort with those exact words.</I><BR/><BR/>Well, he's Ray Bradbury. He knows what he's doing. I've heard it said many times that rules for writing are made to be broken, but only once you know how the rules work. I think that is generally excellent advice: start your stories as Joe suggests until you can write as well as Ray Bradbury, and THEN you can break the rules.Deanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10023986850397045322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131540009528538502005-11-09T06:40:00.000-06:002005-11-09T06:40:00.000-06:00I've noted with a bit of a smirk that Robert Crais...I've noted with a bit of a smirk that Robert Crais very often starts his books with a bit of weather and description of setting, but then again, he's Robert Crais. But yes, it's still good advice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-1131511412217874492005-11-08T22:43:00.000-06:002005-11-08T22:43:00.000-06:00Don't start your stories with setting.Dang! *stri...<I>Don't start your stories with setting.</I><BR/><BR/>Dang! *striking out "It was a dark and stormy night."*<BR/><BR/>*tapping pen on paper (or thumb on spacebar*<BR/><BR/>*tapping. tapping. tapping.*<BR/><BR/>Nope. Nothing. I'll try again tomorrow. :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com