tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post1237891749519216199..comments2024-03-28T02:00:11.260-05:00Comments on A Newbie's Guide to Publishing: Guest Post by Gary PonzoJA Konrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-7611371980774769172013-07-19T23:00:40.447-05:002013-07-19T23:00:40.447-05:00Thanks for the great stuff, Gary. I'm all abou...Thanks for the great stuff, Gary. I'm all about moving the story along. It should feel like an episode of 24. <br /><br />Here's my favorite first line:<br /><br />"Congressman Zimmer knew he was in deep shit." - Council of PatriotsAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00343487263835202568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-69584419418299481772013-07-19T19:16:34.732-05:002013-07-19T19:16:34.732-05:00"A thousand ships rose through the clouds as ..."A thousand ships rose through the clouds as Lifebringer's day came to an end" Aurora, sequel to Exodus (coming this September). Andreas Christensenhttp://christensenwriting.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-20746879819868220982013-07-19T06:55:24.895-05:002013-07-19T06:55:24.895-05:00"It is no coincidence that In no known langua..."It is no coincidence that In no known language does the phrase'as pretty as an airport' exist." The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams. <br />Brilliant. <br />Except then he ruins it by explaining at length just how ugly airports are. Jo-Ann Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18027989147411624378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-54988560066039188482013-07-18T21:55:58.583-05:002013-07-18T21:55:58.583-05:00"He was an old man, most likely in his sevent..."He was an old man, most likely in his seventies, with his wispy hair splayed out on the silk pillowcase, and his dead eyes wide open." -THE ELECTROLIVE MURDERSM.F. Sorianohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07701702635814547705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-32840084646674873572013-07-18T12:46:49.614-05:002013-07-18T12:46:49.614-05:00Wow! There have been some great first lines on her...Wow! There have been some great first lines on here! Looks like lots of good stuff I need to track down and read. <br /><br />Here are mine:<br /><br />"Allen Green, a seasoned reporter of thirty years, walked into the bar that night believing that locating the man he had tracked for months would solve all of his problems, and it was hard to disagree." -- <b>Sold Out</b><br /><br />"My life took a turn for the worse the night a boy named Joe burst through the door's of the Marshal's office in Belleville." -- <b>Little Man, and the Dixon County War</b><br /><br />January 23, 1945<br />"The soldiers on the hill were spent, but they were now on German soil and that counted for something." -- <b>Soldier On</b>Stan R. Mitchellhttp://stanrmitchell.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-47773237685390455752013-07-18T12:09:34.095-05:002013-07-18T12:09:34.095-05:00"No sense of early winter’s cold, frosting th..."No sense of early winter’s cold, frosting the glass outside, touched her." -<br /><br />First line, from my short story, "Eiffel Tower Pose on Family Yoga Day" -<br /><br />glad i made it back to your guest post series, and "very" glad you're posting the links to previous articles, have sent several to kindle for later leisurely enjoyment ;-)<br /><br />thanks so much, best wishes :-)adanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00710750989853277203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-65483081143455108152013-07-18T11:53:05.934-05:002013-07-18T11:53:05.934-05:00"I was sitting naked on my carabao, thinking ..."I was sitting naked on my carabao, thinking about how to get Pinky del Rosario to marry me, when World War Two came to us."<br /><br />The Yellow BarJohn Falchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11524944410319060850noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-50209505914628220392013-07-18T09:04:17.881-05:002013-07-18T09:04:17.881-05:00Gary, Dennis Lehane wasn't such a big shot whe...Gary, Dennis Lehane wasn't such a big shot when he wrote that opening line of Mystic River - but that one sort of sent him on his way!<br /><br />I don't write "thrillers" per se, but all novels have to open strong.<br />__________<br /><br /> In my considerable experience, a drug dealer is more likely to die a violent death than get hit by a bus. - LAW & DISORDER (coming soon)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-92128771693218088062013-07-18T08:16:51.409-05:002013-07-18T08:16:51.409-05:00@Gary - Thanks for starting such a great thread. T...@Gary - Thanks for starting such a great thread. There are a ton of awesome first lines here.Krileyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14077299876012365866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-2238135686367136722013-07-18T08:00:00.461-05:002013-07-18T08:00:00.461-05:00It had been twenty years since I'd picked up a...It had been twenty years since I'd picked up a hitchhiker, so naturally I chose the one carrying a rattlesnake in a coffee can.<br />--RATTLEDJude Hardinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09994813046526310594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-48933520775000438042013-07-18T04:24:34.670-05:002013-07-18T04:24:34.670-05:00"There have got to be nicer places to be than..."There have got to be nicer places to be than in the freezing sea off the coast of a northern Scottish fishing village, with your petrified dog on your back, surrounded by blood thirsty zombies, having seen your only child be kidnapped by your government, leaving you for dead, having just run out of ammo." <br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07022134466773413354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-39363386222560186602013-07-18T01:16:41.884-05:002013-07-18T01:16:41.884-05:00I love reading first lines. It is a peek in the wi...I love reading first lines. It is a peek in the window to see if anyone is home that I would like to visit.Jill Jameshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10754506629717417267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-43002406129697408262013-07-17T21:47:53.752-05:002013-07-17T21:47:53.752-05:00"The only thing she planned to serve was what..."The only thing she planned to serve was what could fit on his plate." from Accidentally Yoursbettye griffinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04457387770524295498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-9757568729869849872013-07-17T21:25:31.061-05:002013-07-17T21:25:31.061-05:00Hi, Joe. Normally I lurk here, but I'm comment...Hi, Joe. Normally I lurk here, but I'm commenting because I'm curious about what you said about readers disliking excerpts. What makes you say that? I'd never heard that before. If they turn people off, I'll have to go back through my stuff and take out all the excerpts pronto. ;)<br /><br />Tori Minard Tori Minardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14121675607449107546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-79737203339095549962013-07-17T21:14:23.688-05:002013-07-17T21:14:23.688-05:00“The great fish moved silently through the night w...“The great fish moved silently through the night water…” —<i>Jaws</i> by Peter BenchleyPeter Spenserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18317246557600202574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-55739020512991913632013-07-17T20:36:54.896-05:002013-07-17T20:36:54.896-05:00Good advice for those of us who aren't well-kn...Good advice for those of us who aren't well-known (yet). Thanks, Gary.<br /><br />A few of the opening lines from my novels:<br /><br />You ever have one of those days where dead people just won't leave you alone? --ACHERON HIGHWAY<br /><br />In the moments before his execution, Stephen Noble thought only of his children. --DRAGON GATE (coming soon)<br /><br />From my short fiction, my favorite is still:<br /><br />Whenever I doubt that I should be killing people, I take a job working with the public. --"Death Threat for a Hitman"Gary Jonashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10573100177572363116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-9655053041408989992013-07-17T20:15:44.434-05:002013-07-17T20:15:44.434-05:00Sorry, but I thought I should point this out: &quo...Sorry, but I thought I should point this out: "At my fiance's funeral I got a phone call form(from) the woman who killed him. - CHERRY BOMB"<br /><br />Otherwise, it's a great post.Darin Calhounhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01548187951965991876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-4220042313071693322013-07-17T19:58:43.089-05:002013-07-17T19:58:43.089-05:00“Gordon said he saw her this time, through the gap...“Gordon said he saw her this time, through the gap under the crossbeam. But she crawled away again.”<br />- NEW YEAR ISLAND<br /><br />“You called a U.S. Senator an ass-clown, Trevor. To his face.”<br />- PYRAMID LAKE<br /><br />Like hyenas slinking after a faltering zebra, the five Zetitas followed me down Torreón Viejo’s empty barrio streets. <br />- MOUNT TERROR<br /><br />Paul Drakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12598834654927530856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-44867728439404104542013-07-17T19:27:48.121-05:002013-07-17T19:27:48.121-05:00I admit that I didn't realize the importance o...I admit that I didn't realize the importance of knowing what a specific genre audience looks for in a story. When I tried my hand at fantasy, my proofreaders all informed me that the physical character descriptions were lacking, by which they meant, nonexistent. In adventure or thrillers, I don't take the time to describe the color of everyone's shoelaces, but the fantasy crowd want to build a more detailed image, so I had to rewrite that story to include such character description. One of the blessings of self-publishing: Fixing crap.<br /><br />Live and learn.Alistair McIntyrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08549555602692910018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-36616911886740235792013-07-17T17:03:32.571-05:002013-07-17T17:03:32.571-05:00"In five years, the penis will be obsolete.&q..."In five years, the penis will be obsolete." John Varley, STEEL BEACHAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-33266660970888077822013-07-17T16:51:35.308-05:002013-07-17T16:51:35.308-05:00“I came to Alaska because I have always wanted to ...“I came to Alaska because I have always wanted to see the state and because it will be an easy place to die. Deciding to die is simple, carrying it out isn't.”<br /><br />Excerpt From: Breedlove, L.J. “Everybody Lies.” <br /><br />as a journalist, I was taught that the first line -- the lead -- was the most mportant sentence, the hook. Most reporters, me included, spend as much time on the lead as the rest of the story. With a novel, obviously I don't spend THAT mich time on the first sentence, but I do go back to the opening page a lot. And BTW, most reporters write the final version of their lead last.<br /><br />. “The beeper went off at the absolute worst time.<br />"Damn," said Andrew Pettygood, the man I was involved with at the moment. I wasn't pleased either.”<br /><br />Excerpt From: Breedlove, L.J. “Sins of Omission.”Lois Breedlovehttp://ljbreedlove.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-34627029665129273182013-07-17T16:17:17.076-05:002013-07-17T16:17:17.076-05:00Eric, no doubt there's more than one way to op...Eric, no doubt there's more than one way to open a book and this is certainly not the only template available. I guess my premise is that an unknown author doesn't have the leeway that a well-known author has when it comes to openings. Nelson Demille and Dennis Lehane could recite ordinary prose for pages and the reader will follow them because of their past successes. Gary Ponzo, however, better grab you early otherwise you're checking out.<br /><br />Also, I always hesitate to post a how-to blog post because the reality is--you should be wary of anything an author states because writing is an art and unlike math there are hundreds of answers to the same equation. I'm no expert, I promise. I'm just spouting opinions. There's a solid chance I'm wrong about some or all of this. Gary Ponzohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13171541464149058048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-13246929665933577372013-07-17T16:10:12.152-05:002013-07-17T16:10:12.152-05:00Awesome post. I'll give a couple first lines f...Awesome post. I'll give a couple first lines from the series I just wrapped up.<br /><br />Gabriel sips from the ornate cup, the familiar taste of blood awakening his taste buds. -- DARKER THINGS (The Lockman Chronicles #1)<br /><br />Hoyt Owens was trying to slip his Valentine into Shanna’s purse without her seeing when the monster scream echoed down the main hall of the hospital floor. -- DARKEST HOUR (The Lockman Chronicles #4)<br /><br />These are from the first in the series and the last in the series. :)Rob Cornellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04388119793952454397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-90879479667890329852013-07-17T15:50:48.183-05:002013-07-17T15:50:48.183-05:00The night Vincent was shot he saw it coming.
Elmo...The night Vincent was shot he saw it coming.<br /><br />Elmore Leonard: GlitzMerrill Heathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00164361657325279390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-17703055120693118342013-07-17T15:38:46.998-05:002013-07-17T15:38:46.998-05:00In truth Gary I think you've described a rathe...In truth Gary I think you've described a rather cookie cutter approach to writing thrillers. There are lots of different kinds of successful thrillers, and yes, you can have little white space on the page, and stop to describe the color of people's eyes, and open with something less than riveting on the first page or in the first line--if you've got the chops!<br /><br />"When Sean Devine and Jimmy Marcus were kids, their fathers worked together at the Coleman Candy plant and carried the stench of warm chocolate back home with them." -- first sentence from Mystic River by Dennis Lehane.<br /><br />"I first met Frank Bellarosa on a sunny Saturday in April at Hicks' Nursery, an establishment that has catered to the local gentry for over a hundred years." -- first sentence from The Gold Coast by Nelson DeMille.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15213221464811637407noreply@blogger.com