tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post1030451706957481051..comments2024-03-18T06:16:18.802-05:00Comments on A Newbie's Guide to Publishing: How Not To Write A StoryJA Konrathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-31685272108820610132014-06-21T02:50:14.552-05:002014-06-21T02:50:14.552-05:00Being a fan (and publisher) of old pulp fiction. I...Being a fan (and publisher) of old pulp fiction. I have to say I am a fan of adverbs. <br /><br />With one little word we just got to skip 12 words of description and get to more action quicker. <br /><br />But then most "writing etiquette" uses pulp fiction as the standard of what not to do.Peril Presshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05770761808181917246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-74035424418429122432012-09-25T16:04:28.450-05:002012-09-25T16:04:28.450-05:00I start my book with a facebook note from the main...I start my book with a facebook note from the main character toward her friends.George Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11769460298303915747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-54116439588702602762012-09-10T19:41:31.195-05:002012-09-10T19:41:31.195-05:00I did appreciate this article, but I think I know ...I did appreciate this article, but I think I know what the central problem with it (and all others like it) may actually be. It's actually not that hard to figure out. There are dozens and dozens of "what to do/what not to do in your writing" lists floating around somewhere on the net. Some version of a similar list turns up in every writing guide in existence. If we could somehow tally up the number of all of the advice lists of this type that have *ever* been written, it would probably number in the hundreds. They're very easy to find. The overwhelming majority of all amateur writers have almost certainly encountered one. <br /><br />So let's think about this logically for a minute. If the lists and advice and exercises really worked, then all amateur writing would be good. Most of it, *by far*, is not good. The reason is that the essence of writing simply can't be distilled to a list of rules. I would be very happy if it could. So would the rest of us! But it just isn't possible. <br /><br />THAT having been said, one thing that CAN be done is to at least identify common elements that tend to exist in writing that clearly does not work. And that's definitely worth doing. But we just can't confuse that activity with a blueprint for good writing. Once again, if lists and advice worked as some sort of secret passkey, then there would be nothing but good writing in the world. <br /><br />So that's why every single one of these elements (and many more!) have been used successfully in writing by someone, somewhere. The real problems with the vast majority of all the writing out there cannot, CANNOT be fixed by following a cookbook recipe. That will lead to writing that is at least smoother and less jarringly wrong, but whatever the central difficulties are, they will remain. Chris Lugohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10096183600109111217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-13190171033566704562012-05-02T09:50:37.641-05:002012-05-02T09:50:37.641-05:00I always start my story with a little speech, then...I always start my story with a little speech, then go onto the description in the next paragraph.<br /><br />I prefer the book to start live right from the off, not a full mouthful of long and boring dialogue.<br /><br />Thanks for the post!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-2649448692226148102012-02-09T03:08:38.049-06:002012-02-09T03:08:38.049-06:00What a load of bollocks.
He's simply written ...What a load of bollocks.<br /><br />He's simply written out the kind of things he doesn't like. It's nothing to do with what or what does not make great writing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-23561942438399006512011-06-06T22:03:41.747-05:002011-06-06T22:03:41.747-05:00I LOL'd! Hilarious (multiple exclamation marks...I LOL'd! Hilarious (multiple exclamation marks). I just finished a novel and lo and behold, my character WOKE UP facing a cinder block wall. Oopsie. Thanks for the insight.Texashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14377794750404975518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-37657602177174666752010-09-22T17:39:54.661-05:002010-09-22T17:39:54.661-05:00While these may be helpful points-- and, of course...While these may be helpful points-- and, of course, I have not read the stories that were so abysmal (so that I might share your annoyance)--I suppose it makes me a little sad to see this kind of negative commentary on a professional activity that probably meant a great deal to the writers who submitted. While I respect your opinions on the subject, so much of editing is subjective: you like stories to start with conflict. I and a few other editors happen to like description and, figuratively speaking, a survey of the landscape. Sometimes these approaches aren't handled well, but it doesn't mean I would say to a writer 'don't ever do this--ever'. To create a list of ‘absolutely-do-not-do-evers’ seems to impose a narrow and (forgive me for saying this) condescending take on literary output. Naturally, as judge, this is your prerogative, but let's not forget that works like Orwell's _Animal Farm_ had animals as protagonists and seemed to be received fairly well. Granted, there may not have been any Orwells in the bunch, but maybe we can focus on the positives: what more successful approaches might you suggest instead?Savannah Schroll Guzhttp://www.savannahschrollguz.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-67703018930489515452010-07-03T14:20:33.012-05:002010-07-03T14:20:33.012-05:00These tips are the best summary of bad writing I&#...These tips are the best summary of bad writing I've ever seen. Plus, they're funny while pointing out newbie errors, instead of angry, like a list of mine would be. So I've linked to your list from my website's Submissions Guidelines page. With any luck, some newbies will read it and think twice before submitting their stories about the sun needing sunglasses and whatnot. Thanks for writing this one, Joe!Laura Robertshttp://blackheartmagazine.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-88812340068356072032010-03-24T17:52:08.535-05:002010-03-24T17:52:08.535-05:00Anonymous "Bianca" (hey, it's the na...Anonymous "Bianca" (hey, it's the name in your email): I'll point out some of the more obvious issues here, and leave the details to people with more experience. <br /><br />First off, spell-check isn't everything - it won't say that you've misspelled a word if you spelled it as a different word. For example, is the corvette "stripped", which would mean all the accessories and such are taken off, or "striped", which means that there are racing stripes painted on? Other words you confused are "It's" and "its", "tented" and "tinted", and "he's" and "his". Try looking up the words, and seeing which definition makes more sense. <br /><br />Also, in your first sentence, what are the eyes doing? "eyes" is the subject, but you haven't provided an appropriate verb - the only verb is "snaking" and I think you mean to say the car is doing the snaking. This issue comes up again in the last sentence, where you've got a verb (steering) and then a subject (a crease), which again technically means the crease would've been steering. <br /><br />You don't need to describe every little detail - if he was turning up the music, we all know he's steering with one hand. In fact, if the music isn't important to the plot, we don't need to know about it at all. Similarly, we don't need to know how hard he hit the accelerator, but saying he was driving like a maniac or like a racecar driver will tell us much more in fewer words. Last of all, very few people will know what an sv6 is, but everyone will know what the car looks like if you say "corvette" or "sports car" or "flashy convertible".Emilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-44368912402101132332010-02-25T04:01:47.027-06:002010-02-25T04:01:47.027-06:00Oi, you! Once upon a lie, in sunny Grumpville, my ...Oi, you! Once upon a lie, in sunny Grumpville, my unhappily glowering owner woke up with his morning premonition. It was hooge. 'Woof WOOF!' I barked. <br />Then he rose, tripped over it, floo throo the window nad plummittid ontoo the pavement beloo. SPLAT!!! <br />"Och Ass tha noo!" he shreek'd in a blatant non-sequitur.Marnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-28088088781260195592010-02-18T07:20:37.087-06:002010-02-18T07:20:37.087-06:00Why do especially these rules define how to make a...<i>Why do especially these rules define how to make a story better than others?</i><br /><br />Read some published stories. Look at how they begin. <br /><br />You want to show action and conflict, as soon as possible, in a story. <br /><br />If you want examples, download my free Newbie's Guide ebook and check out the craft section.JA Konrathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-24539993669299095742010-02-18T04:16:18.648-06:002010-02-18T04:16:18.648-06:00One (serious) question: Why do especially these ru...One (serious) question: Why do especially these rules define how to make a story better than others? Please give me reasons for that. Otherwise it is a dictatorial decision of some people who just claim to be right because they are the expertsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-42757950311588543952010-02-08T08:53:27.609-06:002010-02-08T08:53:27.609-06:00I shall make it a point of honour to get something...<i>I shall make it a point of honour to get something eventually published which breaks every one of these goddamn rules, even if it takes me fifty years.</i><br /><br />You should make it a point of honor to get published by writing the best story you can. Not to get published for the purpose of being a rare exception just to prove a blogger wrong.JA Konrathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-17491060555293116002010-02-08T05:31:20.386-06:002010-02-08T05:31:20.386-06:00"You can't just say when someone is good ..."You can't just say when someone is good enough they can break the rules. That's a generalisation, and an unfair one. When is a writer considered 'good enough' to break the rules, or is it more his/her fan base will suddenly overlook it, or not nitpick on it." (<a href="http://jakonrath.blogspot.com/2009/07/how-not-to-write-story.html?showComment=1247000946916#c7739780629108010494" rel="nofollow">Ryan@4:09</a><br /><br />It isn't that you can break the rules and people ignore it. It's that, if you're good enough, you can <i>make</i> work what should not. You can do it because you understand exactly why it doesn't usually work--that's why you're 'good enough'.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-21593385390133523872010-02-07T12:38:32.705-06:002010-02-07T12:38:32.705-06:00I shall make it a point of honour to get something...I shall make it a point of honour to get something eventually published which breaks every one of these goddamn rules, even if it takes me fifty years.<br /><br />(It may have to have a long first sentence.)Pedantnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-84757722216201731032010-01-31T14:47:18.691-06:002010-01-31T14:47:18.691-06:00I'm sorry you are getting blasted for posting ...I'm sorry you are getting blasted for posting these tips. I, for one, thank you for this useful information.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-15522819778017814572009-12-23T06:45:57.402-06:002009-12-23T06:45:57.402-06:00One of the keys to good writing is conflict. If th...One of the keys to good writing is conflict. If this post stirs people up, it works on an entertainment level as well as an informative level. But it is also meant to be tongue and cheek, and I've never claimed to be always right.<br /><br />Any writer who is able to see their own writing through another person's eyes (a fan's, an editor's, an agent's, a contest judge's) has a much easier journey than one who refuses to listen to criticism.<br /><br />Can I be a self-important jerk? Guilty. But this jerk, and this blog, are on your side. :)JA Konrathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-69002506589716169322009-12-22T23:28:03.752-06:002009-12-22T23:28:03.752-06:00You're right, I have made many of those mistak...You're right, I have made many of those mistakes. Most of them, I'm sure. I'm just saying that writing is a discouraging business, and as someone looking back on it, being a new writer is a fragile experience. It made me embarrassed to think that past writing that I put my heart into could've irritated someone as much as it appears to irritate you. You do make many good points, I might add, it just seems like there are better ways to go about it, IMHO.<br /><br />Also, I apologize for dissing your writing. That wasn't fair of me. Something about this just seemed to set me off, and I'm not sure why.TTnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-71796878447645191332009-12-22T21:07:39.232-06:002009-12-22T21:07:39.232-06:00Clearly because you're a published author, you...<i>Clearly because you're a published author, you've never made a mistake, or written something that wasn't up to snuff. </i><br /><br />Clearly you don't read my blog on a regular basis. I've gotten over 500 rejections for my writing. Which is why I'm in a good position to say how not to write a story.<br /><br /><i>but it's really just a rant on how you hate your job. </i><br /><br />Not at all. It's meant to be a wake up call to newbie writers, so they don't have to be rejected as many times as I've been.<br /><br /><i>if you can't write a how-to article that's constructive criticism, then maybe you're not as good a writer as you so clearly think you are.</i><br /><br />It seems like you took this article too seriously. I'm guessing you've made many of the mistakes I've said should be avoided. We all have. The goal is to learn from them, not fight with the guy who is telling you to stop using them.JA Konrathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08778324558755151986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-81123905109152823952009-12-22T16:20:28.699-06:002009-12-22T16:20:28.699-06:00My aren't we the pretentious one? Clearly bec...My aren't we the pretentious one? Clearly because you're a published author, you've never made a mistake, or written something that wasn't up to snuff. <br /><br />I say this not because of the contest you're judging, but because you wrote this as a how-to article, but it's really just a rant on how you hate your job. Maybe you should have a little more compassion, for both the people you judge and your audience, instead of whining 'poor little me' to everyone. You chose to be a judge, so sack up and do it. You called the guy who told you where to shove your rules a troll, but the fact that its a repost of a previous entry seems to show that you're being deliberately inflammatory. You're the troll here. I don't care about the contest you're judging, but if you can't write a how-to article that's constructive criticism, then maybe you're not as good a writer as you so clearly think you are.TTnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-76289279739757834012009-12-06T14:31:25.162-06:002009-12-06T14:31:25.162-06:00I'm so glad I found this. I teach Intro. to Cr...I'm so glad I found this. I teach Intro. to Creative Writing, and I just read five stories back-to-back that started with characters waking up. I wanted to throw my laptop across the room. Next semester, with your permission, I'm going to make them read these rules and abide by them. Thanks.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17611945507919047713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-25691451434011250482009-11-14T11:07:50.925-06:002009-11-14T11:07:50.925-06:00Jenna, I loved how you started your story. The fir...Jenna, I loved how you started your story. The first two sentences pulled me in and wouldn't let go.<br /><br />Question: why did Frank "leap up"? Was that a reaction to the soup, or was he trying to attack Katie?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-12878656200625737742009-11-04T18:02:02.859-06:002009-11-04T18:02:02.859-06:00This is an incredibly stellar article. Thank you ...This is an incredibly stellar article. Thank you very much.crowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15184289859272036426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-14688627450128400522009-09-01T14:01:44.280-05:002009-09-01T14:01:44.280-05:00Is it a good idea to start a story/novel and use a...Is it a good idea to start a story/novel and use a characters name?<br /><br />I am trying to write something that people would be interested in but for some reason I can't get myself off the use of a name.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11291165.post-34827236161096428132009-08-28T06:47:42.900-05:002009-08-28T06:47:42.900-05:00A little harsh maybe - but I did find this list he...A little harsh maybe - but I did find this list helpful. A lot of them are obvious mistakes, but others are ones I hadn't really thought about (like the one about the protag waking up).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com